England will never win the World Cup

Once in a while my readers love to send me jokes on e-mail and sometimes I find some of them are just too good not to share.

This one was sent to me by Audrey... telling me why England will never win the 2006 World Cup

(though I think they will at least beat Portugal since Portugal had two good players red carded last game).

Check out the fans that each country sends to Germany to support their football teams.

Here's Sweden


Here's Portugal


Here's Brazil (HUBBA HUBBA)


Here's Holland (which I thought really didn't deserve to lose to Portugal)



Here's Australia (not exactly as hot as the rest but at least she drinks beer)


Here's Poland

Here's Paraguay

Here's Italy... MUAKS TO U TOO BABY

And here's England.Yes... for those of you who just got blinded by this picture... I'm so sorry.

Relax... I don't think he's wearing a bikini... he's just wearing a really really tight shirt.

Right? Right?

It's not easy being a model

Models are everywhere these days.

In the past I've dated quite a number of girls who either were models or ended up being part-time models and it has stopped being something to be proud of.

I would go tell my friend "Eh... I went out with a model last night".

and my friend would tell me

"Yeah me too...".

But yet, many girls long to be models to experience the glamour and attention of a photoshoot.

and most guys (except for the certain older and fat guys like Boss Stewie) still feel the little tingle in their pants whenever they hear the word 'model'.

So what do models do these days to stay competitive?

They make it harder to be a model by making themselves EVEN SKINNIER THAN BEFORE... WOOHOOO

WOOHOO!!!

This girl is HOT!!!
HOT HOT HOT!!! Look at the HUGE WATERMELONS on this girl


And check out this girl!

I bet she doesn't even drink water.

If I was helping her put on her top, I would grab a stick and play the violin on her ribs

But don't forget this girl


Or this Cambodian refugee model


and this other Cambodian refugee model


And finally... this one


So there you have it... the 'fabulous' bodies of the supermodels of today.

As for Boss Stewie... my fat chubby baby is my model....

and that's how I like her to be.

To all the 'normal' girls out there who haven't lost their minds: Eat when you have to.

Be strong and don't succumb to the pressure...

To the guys who just threw up in the bucket after reading this post, relax... I have a feeling the pictures were photoshopped :P

The World Cup GENIUS

I only watch football once every 4 years: During the World Cup.

But since ages ago, every time I watch a match on Astro and during half-time I get to see interesting match statistics

and hear a football IDIOT genius named Shabby talk for 15 minutes about what I ALREADY KNOW I never knew about the game.

For example, during one of the earlier matches I watched a couple of weeks ago, one person got sent off (got a red card).

During the half-time break, Shabby pointed out something I never thought of before.

"The team that got one player sent off is clearly at a disadvantage. That's 10 vs 11 men".

(Well that wasn't exactly what he said but I think it was somewhere along those lines)

WOW!!! Imagine THAT!!!

What Shabby meant to explain to us was that the team that had one less player because of a red card was at a disadvantage in the game...

HOW GENIUS IS THAT?!!

Also notice the genius behind this tricky mathematical question. Each football team has eleven players. So when one player gets sent off we get TEN PLAYERS!!!

WOAH... and Shabby could mentally work that out on the SPOT!!!!

I say we give Shabby a medal for his intelligence.

I mean... who else would've thought about that if it wasn't for Shabby and his high IQ.

Before Shabby shed some light on us... we always thought that having 10 men versus 11 men was an advantage for the 10 men team right?

I mean the less people a team has the more likely it would win right?

I say we vote for Shabby as our next Prime Minister!

And that all men should each give their left nipple to Shabby as a tribute!

Shabby is a man that cares.

Here's another example, if any one of you notice... Shabby also loves to teach us English by memorizing (and using) powderful words like....

Well ok I can't remember exactly like what... but phrases along the lines of

"Now that was an IMMACULATE HEADER".

Some people think that Shabby should slow down on memorizing those very powderful words.

And that it's just a matter of time before something like this happens...

(pay attention to Shabby's facial expressions)

But SCREW THOSE PEOPLE THAT MAKE FUN OF SHABBY! THEY'RE JUST JEALOUS OF HIS GENIUS, FAME AND STRIKING GOOD LOOKS!!!

Besides...what Shabby really said about the England vs Ecuador match was that England was playing terribly... WHICH WAS ANOTHER GENIUS COMMENT!!!

I mean... England missed like a million opportunities to score goals and all...

and they were going against Ecuador instead of a really tough team like Brazil

and by the end of the first half the score was still 0-0....

BUT WHO WOULD GUESS FROM THAT THAT ENGLAND WAS PLAYING TERRIBLY...

Shabby also mentioned that the English players were more popular than their Ecuador counterparts... another genius comment!

Let me elaborate on that.

The reason behind Shabby's logical comment was that most people watch the English Premier League and the English Premier League has mostly English players so English players like Beckham were most popular.

NOW WHO WOULD'VE GUESSED THAT?

ANOTHER GOOD EXAMPLE OF SHABBY'S GENIUS!!!

We love Shabby for his genius.

One day we shall all vote Shabby for Prime Minister.

The purpose

Some people are still a bit unclear about something.

Our little Leng Mou bet to write funny posts ended in June 2006.

Both Boss Lepton and I were looking to stop blogging then but I was leaving the UK and many of my UK friends who read Leng Mou insisted I kept blogging so that they would be up to speed on what I'll be up to after leaving the UK.Pic Info: Some of my UK friends that I probably won't see for quite a while.

So rather than writing funny posts (which most of you would prefer), I just use Leng Mou as a personal blog now which explains why the posts are less hilarious now, why we don't make a blog entry every day like we used to and why Boss Lepton seldom writes now.

We're sorry for giving up the 'funny blog' thing going on but I guess work has caught up with us. We expect our daily visits to drop in time to come.Pic Info: The Bosses at their peak

It was nice having 4 digit (I mean 8) visits a day... but I guess all good things must come to an end (eventhough its not even 9 months since we started blogging).

For those of you who stay... we'll try to make a few intentionally funny posts (like the ones before) every once in a while.

Thank you to all of you for your support and I hope all of you enjoyed Leng Mou as much as we did. Boss Stewie/Lepton *hugz* Leng Mou readers

To the many bloggers who've been asking us for a meet-up... we promise to keep to our word of meeting up soon.

Stewie-pore

To those of you who are probably wondering otherwise now, let me just say that I didn't go to Singapore just to stay in a Singaporean apartment with a Singaporean Microwave (ok fine Addee.. Singaporean PR Microwave) to blow up a Singaporean curry puff :(

I was in Singapore mainly for work but also for some sight-seeing.

My baby made me promise that I could go down and do all the work I wanted (and neglect her while I was at it) under the condition that I had to take her to Sentosa to see the pink dolphins which I did.

In my opinion the pink dolphins looked pretty much half-dead but my baby slapped me when I said that so from now on I shall just say they looked as healthy as Timon & Pumba in the Lion King.

So healthy that they might as well have been singing pink dolphins:

HAKUNA MATATA... WHAT A WONDERFUL PHRASE!!!

I must say that I was pretty impressed with Sentosa considering that everyone has always told me that there is nothing to see in Sentosa.

I was impressed with their little "Sentosa Public Transport System"

I was impressed with the landscaping...

and more importantly I was impressed with ice-cream stalls they put all around the island for me to indulge in.


Oh and before I forget, I was also impressed by how they forced me to go see the Underwater World by packaging the dolphin tickets with the Underwater World tickets.

Basically... if you want to see the dolphins, you have to buy the ticket to see the Underwater World as well

(I didn't want to go to the Underwater World not because I hate fish but because I've been there before long ago while I was still a Little Stewie).

After I satisfied my baby with the pink dolphins, it was my turn to be happy.


I wanted to see THE MERLION!!!

The half-mermaid-half-lion symbol of Singapore!

So I got my Singaporean friend to bring me to see the famous Merlion only to be disappointed

It was tiny!!! I always thought the Merlion would be much BIGGER !!!

I kicked up a big fuss and I told my very tolerant Singaporean friend that I wanted to see a BIGGER MERLION!!!

So... he thought about it for a few minutes and brought me here.


Ahh... that's more like it... Singapore Boleh!

Yet, in spite of all these little fun touristy attractions, I must say that my favourite part of Singapore are the people.
Hanging out with some of Ming's Singaporean friends... I marvel at how Singaporeans can be so educated and yet have a fun, looney side.



Many Singaporeans speak fluent top-notch English. Yet they can occasionally turn on a Singlish side that does not just have the usual "lahs" or "lors".

For example,

The word government is pronounced gahmen.

Excuse me is pronounced Eskew Me.

Rolex is pronounced Lolex.

and there are funny terms like "Show Half Ball" which is used to describe a woman showing a substantial amount of clevage.

Anyway, at the end of the trip... pink dolphin or no pink dolphin, merlion or no merlion, and singlish or no singlish...

I had my duty to take my baby for a romantic dinner that cost me half a Lolex.

Of course, the bill in Sing Dollars turned out to be reasonable. But when I multiplied the amount by 2.3 to convert it to Malaysian Ringgit... my balls dropped.

If anyone of you Singaporeans manage to find my two balls... (which was last seen in this restaurant)

please carefully place them in an envelope and mail them back to me in Penang (by registered post with insurance please).

BOOM!

I just got back from the Lion City today after the 4-day work trip I had with my baby tagging along.

I'll write more about the trip in time to come but let me first ask all of you your opinions about something.

Now when I was in Singapore I stayed in a little service apartment called the Somersot Grand Cairnhill, just off Orchard Road.
The room was not as new as I expected them to be but it was still decent and it came fully equipped with not only a bedroom

but also a kitchen for us to cook!!! Wooohoo


Anyway, this morning I woke up hungry.

So hungry that I couldn't stop thinking about the curry puff that I bought last night so I jumped out of bed, went straight to the kitchen and shoved my curry puff into microwave for some heating up.

I left it on "auto-reheat" and went to watch TV.

Just a few minutes later while I heard a loud

BOOM!!!


As I ran to the kitchen, my heart started beating faster for fear that my poor little breakfast just blew up.

Just 18 steps later I found out that IT WAS TRUE... MY CURRY PUFF BLEW UP!!!

MY BREAKFAST WAS RUINED.

Stewie was hungry and very very angry (a hungry man is an angry man).

Which brings us to the important question of the day:

Who is to blame for ruining Stewie's breakfast?

Was it the lousy Singaporean microwave?

Was it the lousy Singaporean curry puff?

Or was it the stupid "balls for brains" Malaysian who left the curry puff in the microwave unattended?

I say it was the lousy curry puff that just couldn't take that little bit of heat!

They don't make curry puffs as strong and sturdy like they used to... HMPH....
(but then again I'm never one to admit that I'm wrong if I can help it)

Boss Stewie goes to Singapore

If you're wondering about the lack of updates, it's because I'm down in Singapore for a few days to do some work.

I normally take a flight from Penang or KL to Singapore but this time I decided to save some money so I tried the bus.
It was my first ever time taking the bus to Singapore and also probably the most painful 5 hours of my life having to get off the bus twice to clear immigration on both sides of the border.

After screwing up things with tuh tuh, my baby got me to bring her down to Singapore with me in spite of me constantly reminding her that I was coming down to Singapore not for a holiday but for work.

So as you would guess, the only 'tourist attraction' I've managed to take her to ever since was the Singaporean National Library.


Which I must say looked a little (ok fine a lot) more impressive than our Malaysian National Library.

Taking me around Singapore and trying to convert me into a Singaporean is Ming, the Singaporean internet entrepreneur I once wrote about.

KL and Singapore are pretty different in their own ways but yet it never fails to amuse me how alike Malaysians and Singaporeans can be.

Going out with Ming's friends, many of them couldn't tell that my baby and I were Malaysians since we talked, acted and did almost everything like Singaporeans do.

The truth is that as much as we like to make fun of each other, Malaysians and Singaporeans are very much alike.

So much that even our blogospheres have pretty much merged into one.

Our Malaysian blogs get many Singaporean readers and Singaporean blogs get plenty of Malaysian readers.

I even find Malaysian blogs pinging themselves on blog aggregators like Tomorrow.sg and Singaporean blogs pinging themselves on our very own PPS.


Ahh I love our little South East Asian blogosphere.

Which reminds me of a question that someone once asked me

"Boss Stewie... you're a blogger.. you get people reading all your bullshit (that was during the time when we used to write funny stuff on Leng Mou) every day and you've got plenty of blog aggregators to ping them on...

What more can you bloggers ask for from the internet?"

Maybe you guys could help me out with an answer.