Why make life difficult?

Just a few days ago a small group of us decided to go for lunch at this restaurant called Busaba.

It is a nice posh-looking (but not too expensive) restaurant off Tottenham Court Road (one of the busiest roads in London). Outside the restaurant, rather than having the usual cardboard menu, they instead have a little screen where you can push some buttons to tell the little computer what you feel like eating and it'll show you a list of everything.
In the restaurant everyone shared big square tables and sat on benches (canteen-style).

My Green Curry Thai Fried Rice there was a little more expensive than an average student's lunch in London but it was not too bad.

But all that's not important right now!

Upon arrival at the restaurant, I was in a rush. I needed to go to the piss... BAD... and when I say bad... I mean SO BAD THAT IF I DON'T GET TO A TOILET SOON I WOULD PISS ALL OVER MYSELF.

So once we got seated, I chucked my jacket aside and rushed downstairs to the toilet. Ohhh it was a feeling of satisfaction when you know you're on the way to the toilet and that the battle is half won.

Running down the stairs to the toilet was almost like running towards the Gates of Heaven. I could see the light in front of me at the end of the dark stair-well.

My heart started pumping harder and my face failed to hide an evil smirk at the thought of the satisfaction I would be feeling in less than 2 minutes.

I was running.... ohh I was running and I could hear my guardian angel shout behind me
"RUN STEWIE!!! RUN!!!!!"

Oh I was running...

BUT just when I got to the bottom of the stairs I cursed so loud the entire restaurant shook for a few seconds.


There I stood in front of two doors (one leading to the men's and the other to the ladies')


and instead of seeing signs like this (LIKE NORMAL TOILETS HAVE),
they instead decided to screw me over and have something like this

and this

NOW WHAT THE FARK IS THAT ALL ABOUT?!?!

So there I stood in front of these signs with a bladder so full I felt like passing out and I was EXPECTED TO CRACK "THE ENIGMA CODE" TO GET INTO THE RIGHT TOILET?!?!

(Why don't they also get me to recite a poem and sing Negaraku while they're at it)

I refused to be played like that so I waited to see if anyone would come out of the doors.
(If a woman came out of one of those doors I would just go for the other one... common sense right?)

I waited for nearly 2 minutes and NOBODY came out! (2 minutes is a BLARDY long time when your bladder is at maximum capacity)

My legs started getting shaky and there were tears in my eyes.. TEARS.. TEARS I TELL YOU!!!!
I decided that I had to do something.

I thought that if I picked a door at random, there would be a 50/50 chance that I would get the right one. So I picked one, said a little prayer and went charged in.

Yes... as you can imagine... it was the wrong one.

Don't ask me what happened next because it wasn't funny but lets just say the phrase
"WHAT THE HELL?!?!" came up.

Anyway, after I got to the right toilet and released what could've been 8 gallons of piss I came out and looked again at the signs on the doors to see how in the world they could've meant anything!

I saw it... the guy's toilet 'symbol' looked something more like a guy pissing.

With the help of photoshop, allow me to illustrate.

This is the men's

and this is the ladies'

BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!

It could be a picture of a piece of POO on one door and a donkey on the other it still wouldn't make a difference!

WHYYYY?!!?!?

WHY IN THE WORLD DO THEY HAVE TO MAKE LIFE SO COMPLICATED?!?!?!

WHAT HAS A MAN GOTTA DO TO PISS IN PEACE THESE DAYS??!?!