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  • Wednesday, May 10, 2006

    What to eat during exams

    For those of us studying under the old fashioned and outdated British system... we're all having exams now.

    So the question now is:
    What do we eat so that we can do better in exams?


    Some people say, eat fish... some people say drink lots of herbal soup... but Boss Stewie and Lepton say that the answer is... "IT DEPENDS".

    Many people believe that fish is brain food. So if you eat lots of fish, you'll be more productive in studying meaning you'll remember everything better.

    With some help from Google I found out that scientists are yet to reach a conclusion on whether fish is truly brain food (though they think its good for the heart).

    But grandmother knows best and grandmother says fish is good for the brain. So if you study hard for exams, make sure you eat lots and lots of fish.
    However, if you're lazy like Boss Stewie and Lepton who don't study much, fish is useless for you.

    What use is a super charged up brain when you put nothing into it (or when you don't study)?


    So for us bums who don't like to study... the solution is
    eat lots and lots of KFC because KFC is KAI (chicken). Now a little bit on the word "Kai".

    Kai means chicken in cantonese (and also prostitute actually but that's not important right now).


    However, if you've been around at some point in your life playing Counterstrike in a cybercafe, you will know that the word "KAI" also means "FLUKE".

    Most often used in the following phrase


    "MA CHOW HAI... FROM SO FAR ALSO CAN HEADSHOT WITH DESERT EAGLE... SOOOOOoo DAMN KAI!!!!" Now in the case of exams, its not rocket science to able to see that the more kai you eat the higher chance you have of "Kai"-ing the exam.

    And it works.

    During my A-levels, Boss Lepton and I were sitting for the same Economics paper. I studied very very hard for it eating as much fish as I could every day.

    Boss Lepton on the other hand... did nothing but play foosball and read comics.

    BUT on the day of the exam, Boss Lepton went to KFC and got himself a bucket of KAI.


    I scored 80% in that exam... but Boss Lepton scored 100%. NOW WHAT THE FARK IS THAT????

    I was upset, so I retook the exam and didn't bother to study for it. On the day of the exam I bought myself a bucket of KFC and finished it all.

    I got a 100% for that paper.


    So KFC works! I SHIT YOU NOT!!! (maybe not all the time.. but sometimes...)


    Why do you think the Chinese government let avian bird flu spread?


    Because they don't want us students to NOT study for their exams and just resort to eating lots and lots of kai. Who is going to build their next Great Wall if everyone only knows how to eat lots and lots of kai.
    So to wrap things up... if you're lazy like Boss Lepton and Stewie... the solution is simple.

    On the day of the exam, go buy yourself a bucket of KFC and a pint of beer.
    (The pint of beer is to help ease the sharp pain you will feel in your heart when you look at the first question on the exam paper and realize that you don't know what the hell it's asking for). Remember, eat the KAI BEFORE the exam and not AFTER. However, if you're brave enough to eat the KAI DURING the exam itself... then well done... you will most definitely get an A in your exam.

    Speaking of which, one of my hilarious friends at college once told me a story about Cambridge University.

    Apparently during an exam, one of the students asked the invigilators to bring him a cheeseburger with chips and a coke to drink.

    As you can imagine the invigilator's first response was "WTF?!?!"

    Then the brave student said

    "Well according to the old university rules (which were probably hundreds of years old), any exam candidate is allowed to request for cake and rum anytime during the examination. Therefore, the present day equivalent of cake and rum is burger/chips and a coke."

    The invigilator gave in and brought him his burger/chips and coke to eat during the exam.

    The next day, the brave student was fined for "Not carrying a SWORD to class" (also probably another old school rule covered in dust). Moral of the story: When you're among smarter alecs... don't be a smart alec.

    (Hear that Tse Jian?)

    Good luck for your exams everyone!


    *this post is dedicated to Bluey, Lance and everyone else out there that are about to have their exams

    HAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

    44 Comments:

    • i'm expecting quite a lot of mous for this... so... go ahead... don't show boss stewie any love!!

      By Blogger Boss Stewie, at May 10, 2006 2:19 AM  

    • i'll have my final exams starting next week too!!

      Guess i shall eat shit loads of KFC before sitting for any paper...

      ...And also bring along a big-ass keris to the exam hall.

      HAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!!!
      Lenggggggggggggggggg!

      By Blogger rootified, at May 10, 2006 2:32 AM  

    • HHAARRR!!!!

      I still depend on my kai-ness

      Tesco nowadays have the buy 2 for £5 bbq chicken, comes in 2 flavours, chinese style or garlic n herb. That's my fav food and they always have that every summer. Love Tesco.

      So all the best to everyone and may the kainess be with you.

      p.s. boss, when did u retake yr exam?

      By Blogger Boss Lepton, at May 10, 2006 2:37 AM  

    • Economics paper 2 ... remember?

      rootified: yes.. a keris to help you cut your chicken.. good idea mate

      By Blogger Boss Stewie, at May 10, 2006 2:44 AM  

    • rootified: May the kai-ness be with you. =)

      MMU's being friggin smart giving out assignments which is due next week (During the finals itself). Yay~! *mahai*

      Boss Stewie: Cheeseburger and coke free or prepaid/postpaid?

      By Anonymous Lance, at May 10, 2006 4:14 AM  

    • hahaha..boss...wat if all the kai that we eat give us "POK-KAI"ness instead of ur "KAI" (luck)??? then sei lor....sure fail exam dy!!!haha!!

      By Anonymous zHoN, at May 10, 2006 4:16 AM  

    • OH OH I KNOW!!!! Only order or eat chicken only!!! make sure that there is ONLY chicken!!! don eat or touch any char-siu fan or bacon b4 the exam... then sure won " PORK-KAI" dy right? boss??!!!heheh...LENG!!!!

      HAAAAARRRRRR!!!!

      By Anonymous zHoN, at May 10, 2006 4:21 AM  

    • Hahahah leng

      yes only chicken

      no bacon and no pork of anykind allowed

      not even the pork oil used to roast four seasons duck

      By Blogger Boss Lepton, at May 10, 2006 4:26 AM  

    • yes zhon wei... just chicken! kfc ONLY.. not even popcorn chicken! cuz that's not real chicken.. but then again.. kfc is not real chicken either.. its all fake genetically modified chicken.. but at least its still called chicken... gosh if i could only listen to myself talk.


      lance: may the kainess be with u

      HAARRRRRR!!!

      By Blogger Boss Stewie, at May 10, 2006 4:31 AM  

    • hahah!!!just had KAI-fan for my dinner... sure score full mark in my exam dy la!!!! no need to study dy!!!! woohoo!!!
      May the KAI-ness be with u....hahaha!!!

      HAAAARRRRRR!!!!~~~

      By Anonymous zHoN, at May 10, 2006 4:50 AM  

    • lol- finally a stop to the cybersex conversations.
      of all things- kfc
      u sure nobody paid u guys to promote kfc?

      By Blogger Yuen, at May 10, 2006 5:09 AM  

    • Gua punya finals next week. :(

      Wei, I thought you said you will score better by reading my blog one!?!??!?!?!

      By Anonymous Jason, at May 10, 2006 5:54 AM  

    • hahahaha
      yes yes

      zhon wei.. u can stop studying now

      yuen ai: we tried but kfc refused to pay us.. saying that 8 visits a day is not significant enough for them to pay us...

      oh and i forgot... reading jason's blog also helps

      By Blogger Boss Stewie, at May 10, 2006 6:13 AM  

    • yay! i ate KFC for dinner jst now! my deadly exam tomorrow sure 'KAI' dy!

      (i hope you're right boss stewie, if not i'll come after u with the chopper i use to 'cham kai' and sell your meat to KFC!)

      By Anonymous -ice-, at May 10, 2006 7:19 AM  

    • wahlau!! leng....

      just when i need the advice!

      KFC!!!!!!

      By Blogger Nash M.D., at May 10, 2006 7:38 AM  

    • Hahaha!!! Boss Stewie, how could you even expect a mou for this one? Sibeh funny when I imagined someone eating KFC in the exam when everyone's scribbling on their exam papers.

      LENG!

      By Blogger Ianfluenza, at May 10, 2006 7:42 AM  

    • ice... it should work.. ,dun worry!!!

      remember the beer.. to ease the pain in case it doesn't work


      hahaha so many lengs so far ... aww u people are just too nice

      By Blogger Boss Stewie, at May 10, 2006 8:18 AM  

    • lol- ya- i have to admit- this is damn leng.

      i think i will be expecting huge traffic at the kfc at gloucester road as its the one closest to imperial...

      By Blogger Yuen, at May 10, 2006 9:35 AM  

    • 100% ??????
      Crazy ahhhhh!!!
      Means the subject for you is sap sap sui???
      don't think so eat what fish or kai can help for better memorizing!

      all bullshit! mou!
      HAAAAAAAARRRRRR!
      :P

      By Blogger こうゆうけん, at May 10, 2006 9:54 AM  

    • awww, stewie :)
      thank you.

      you too !

      By Blogger ChocoMonster, at May 10, 2006 11:04 AM  

    • Thanks for the tips Boss!
      I'm same place with Lance so I'm having exams soon. Good luck to both of you in your exams *thumbs up*

      By Anonymous Chapree Da Grande, at May 10, 2006 12:55 PM  

    • Stewie scores better by listening to ki ki kat kat radio conversations via rojak's blog.

      and KFC RAWKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      By Blogger Shireen K, at May 10, 2006 1:15 PM  

    • /In exam hall...

      *scribbling answers*

      *looks at pen*
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      MY GAWDD!!!! MY DRUMSTIIIICCKKK!!!!!

      By Anonymous Lance, at May 10, 2006 4:27 PM  

    • Koyuuken... its not that we know the subject damn well to score 100%... its the kai..

      HAAARRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

      By Blogger Boss Stewie, at May 10, 2006 5:40 PM  

    • Damn! its so mou that its actually quite leng!

      By Blogger yuin, at May 10, 2006 5:53 PM  

    • Eh, I agree...KFC is the best thing to eat during exams. Good stress reliever since it's a form of junk food, but at the same time still has some protein in it.

      KFC with fat chips and coke. Heaven...

      Of course, weight gain is inevitable.

      By Blogger Evelyn, at May 10, 2006 6:04 PM  

    • LENG! :)
      Let's all go, eat and get 'kai dou' results in our exams now!

      By Anonymous Alynna, at May 10, 2006 6:35 PM  

    • haahaha yesss!!!

      lets go kfc

      HAAAARRRRRRR!!!!!!!

      By Blogger Boss Stewie, at May 10, 2006 7:47 PM  

    • KFC NEW CHICKEN CHOP!

      *SMACKS LIPS*

      MY ETERNAL FAVE!

      lets hope its not while stocks last =_=

      By Blogger ChocoMonster, at May 10, 2006 9:38 PM  

    • order kfc delivery is the best thing to do during exam!!

      By Blogger Dragon City, at May 10, 2006 11:10 PM  

    • got one chun CS screenshot. LENG!!

      By Blogger Clem, at May 11, 2006 12:19 AM  

    • ehhh
      boss stewie may be old but can still play cs wan ok?

      By Blogger Boss Stewie, at May 11, 2006 12:20 AM  

    • i'm not that good at CS but still improving la haha. at least i don't die 5 seconds that often after walking past the centre area in fy_iceworld_cz map, hehe.

      By Blogger Clem, at May 11, 2006 12:33 AM  

    • eh i also can play cs 1 ok? dun pray pray

      me n stewie's clan name is [NotSoGoodAtCS] ok? but still haven't lost yet ok?

      scared not?

      By Blogger Boss Lepton, at May 11, 2006 12:33 AM  

    • nub.

      >_>

      come laa one day we CS ok? either online or anything. but I'm getting the non-Steam version (maklumlah negara ni pirated, blablabla) of Condition Zero 1.6. We can play through Hamachi, a program that turns your computers and mine into a virtual network (more details on my blog, haha).

      By Blogger Clem, at May 11, 2006 12:44 AM  

    • u know last time
      about a year ago

      lepton and i... and another 3 malaysians studying in the uk played cs in european servers with the clan name [NotSoGoodAtCS].

      Quite a lot of UK and European clans challenged us to 5v5 or 4v4 matches.. and we have never lost a single one. Not to mention.. the closest we ever got to losing was letting them win two rounds...our worst score was 30-2. Us being 30 and them being 2. the rest all 30-0. hehehehee

      but to all fairness... thats because one of our members are ex fmj.. or something

      By Blogger Boss Stewie, at May 11, 2006 2:49 AM  

    • Uhhh... Kai??

      By Anonymous Lance, at May 11, 2006 4:58 AM  

    • hahahaha yes yes yes

      KAI.. we eat lots and lots of kai before every game!!!

      By Blogger Boss Stewie, at May 11, 2006 5:03 AM  

    • "but to all fairness... thats because one of our members are ex fmj.. or something"

      should be "IS" ex fmj.. ish what's wrogn with my english

      lance u're suppoosed to be asleep now
      ffs.. go to bed!

      By Blogger Boss Stewie, at May 11, 2006 5:22 AM  

    • hahah...boss...i tot this blog is about KAI in th exam????how come CS pulak???!!!

      By Anonymous zHoN, at May 11, 2006 6:40 AM  

    • MMU finals next week.... damn lecturer dunno what he taught the entire sem, said no need study tutorial... then study what? mahai! Shove his @$$ with KAI then only know...

      leng!!!!

      By Blogger William Leong, at May 11, 2006 8:28 AM  

    • dun so angry william

      just eat kai can already

      By Blogger Boss Stewie, at May 11, 2006 6:05 PM  

    • LENGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

      By Anonymous Diao, at May 23, 2006 2:11 AM  

    • By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 23, 2007 6:35 AM  

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