• The Boss is coming! Look busy!
  • List of bloggers going for the 29th July 2006 Bloggers Meet at KLCC

    • Wednesday, May 03, 2006

    Making love to a toilet roll

    I was checking my site stats one day to see where some of Leng Mou's 8 daily visitors come from.

    Apparently one guy searched for the words "masturbation in shower" on MSN's search engine and got directed to my site.

    Not particularly something to be proud of... so I googled the words "masturbation in showers" and guess what I found:

    A site where people share their masturbation stories.


    Awww how sweet of them to share the love.

    Anyway, what caught my attention was this new way of masturbating.

    It's called "Toilet paper roll hump".

    I quote:

    Take a toilet paper roll then get it wet. Slide your dick into it back in forth until you get hard. Then lubricate the toilet paper roll with shampoo or what ever YOU want.

    Slide you dick faster and faster into the roll. As you start to really go start squeezing the roll until its tightly around you penis. When you are about to cum let go of the roll and let it rip! Feels GREAT!


    Awww... how nice of him to share his way of having a chop.

    Now I think masturbation is healthy because sex is healthy and the average man isn't always lucky enough to get sex whenever he feels like it.

    So he resorts to fucking a toilet paper roll.... that's perfectly ok right? I mean that's normal.. right?

    Right?
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...

    WRONG!!!!!

    IT IS NOT OKAY TO FUCK A TOILET PAPER ROLL!!!!!!
    AND NO IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU HAVEN'T GOT ACCESS TO THE REAL THING!


    TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT THIS!!!


    HOW COULD YOU FIND IT IN YOURSELF TO RAPE THIS POOR LITTLE TOILET PAPER ROLL!!!

    Men... we shall NOT learn from this example!

    We are all born with HANDS to help ourselves.. and help ourselves we shall...

    so leave the toilet roll alone.

    And with this blog entry I shall start the
    "FREE THE TOILET PAPER ROLL CAMPAIGN"

    For those of you who support me in this... please print out and put these posters all around your school/college/work
    This is Boss Stewie doing his bit for society and speaking out for all the sexually assaulted toilet paper rolls out there.

    By the way, since we're on the subject of toilet paper,

    To all the UK Leng Mou readers... use Andrex toilet paper.


    Yes... it is slightly more expensive that your typical Tesco's toilet paper... but do you really want to wipe your ass with toilet paper that feels like sand paper?

    Use Andrex and feel the "TUGGABLE HUGGABLE SOFTNESS"... ohh... its like wiping your backside with silk.

    Boss Stewie's motto "Only the best for your ass".


    Disclaimer: I wasn't serious when I said put that poster all over the country so in case you're gullible enough to actually do it... PLEASE DON'T!

    posted by Boss Stewie at 1:05 AM

    97 Comments:

    • LOL. Ultimate lengness. BTW, my penang's friend's name is LiYuin, she is in Melbourne Uni right now. U know her?

      By Blogger angelicgirl98, at May 03, 2006 1:34 AM  

    • wah.. its damn hard to get a leng from yuen ai... all that blood and sweat all this time just to get a leng ..

      err.. liyuin doesn't ring a bell.. what year is she ? 84? 85? i don't know many of my juniors...

      By Blogger Boss Stewie, at May 03, 2006 1:37 AM  

    • hahaha...boss!!! Leng!!!

      By Anonymous Anonymous, at May 03, 2006 1:52 AM  

    • Charmin' is way better than Andrex

      By Anonymous Anonymous, at May 03, 2006 2:13 AM  

    • Funny, but somehow didnt laugh this time. Might be due to exam stress.

      First mou for you boss... =(

      By Anonymous Anonymous, at May 03, 2006 2:15 AM  

    • Btw, Tesco toilet paper rocks! Literally...

      By Anonymous Anonymous, at May 03, 2006 2:17 AM  

    • but bunny does charmin have "tuggable" and "huggable" softness?

      By Blogger Boss Stewie, at May 03, 2006 2:29 AM  

    • lance.. aren't u and the rest of malaysia supposed to be asleep at this time?

      By Blogger Boss Stewie, at May 03, 2006 2:30 AM  

    • leng!
      you know, i once thought of raping that toilet paper roll thing, but it hits me that it'll probably rips immediately if i put it in, haha, that little thing was lucky

      By Blogger andycjw, at May 03, 2006 2:46 AM  

    • hehehehe boss

      a leng for my boss hahahaha

      my toilet paper i get free

      By Blogger Wilson J Q Quah, at May 03, 2006 4:55 AM  

    • Charmin has everything that Andrex has, but it's just better. It's even like 10p cheaper. It's not even the 10p... just BETTER!

      By Anonymous Anonymous, at May 03, 2006 5:28 AM  

    • U GIVE ME LENG BOSS? yay score 12-9!

      what do u mean everything that andrex has..? so u're saying its "tuggable" and "Huggable"?

      By Blogger Boss Stewie, at May 03, 2006 6:30 AM  

    • wah ha ha...boss stewie..

      leng....

      "PUT THAT TOILET PAPER ROLL DOWN!" he he he...

      i wonder whtr we can make some blog campaigns using this :P

      By Blogger men, at May 03, 2006 6:46 AM  

    • ephram: you forgot there's a "YOU CUNT" at the end of the "PUT THAT TOILET PAPER ROLL DOWN"

      By Anonymous Anonymous, at May 03, 2006 7:31 AM  

    • woahh.... damnit..

      your chatbox doesnt prompt up due to the excessive vulgarity usage in your blog...cos my office got firewall ler... tenggg.... kenot post comment there...

      anyway.. i heard lots who used other things.. but TOILET ROLL??? yoh!!! stewie stewie..... tsk tsk tskkkkkk...
      .....tsk tskk tskk..TSK TSK...

      ok lah a leng for u la.. since you came out in the open bout it and even run a campaign for it.. :X

      By Blogger Kiss my ass, at May 03, 2006 9:02 AM  

    • most of ur posts neva fail to humour me :)

      By Blogger Smurfette, at May 03, 2006 9:20 AM  

    • oik, boss.. sick la

      By Blogger Cely, at May 03, 2006 9:53 AM  

    • hhhmmm.... toilet paper roll... hmmm... and i've just finished one roll, so... hhmm.... and i've been stress lately.. hhmmm...

      wakakakaaa :X

      By Blogger Pike-chan, at May 03, 2006 10:06 AM  

    • bosses ah...do u get hard by looking at toilet rolls..example photo no. 3?

      By Anonymous Anonymous, at May 03, 2006 1:14 PM  

    • walau eh!!
      >.<|| you sick!

      By Blogger [NottY]Nee, at May 03, 2006 1:39 PM  

    • not leng not leng... you still got time for this.. no exam? your mind full of sex now huh?

      By Blogger こうゆうけん, at May 03, 2006 2:06 PM  

    • from the response of comments.. how can u say ur blog fgot 8 visits daily... u big liar !!! boss liar !

      By Blogger Cely, at May 03, 2006 4:32 PM  

    • pikey: now now.. PUT THAT TOILET PAPER ROLL DOWN pikey.. PUT IT DOWN.. yes.. slowly.. slowly now.. PUT IT DOWN!!!

      shireen k:
      "ok lah a leng for u la.. since you came out in the open bout it and even run a campaign for it.. :X"

      run a campaign AGAINST it shireen.. not FOR it.. AGAINST AGAINST


      koyuuken: yes yes i blog to release stress

      cely: uhmm... ok ok ler.. mebe a little bit more than 8

      By Blogger Boss Stewie, at May 03, 2006 5:01 PM  

    • boss stewie: Oh, Cyberjaya is another 'great' city that never sleeps. =)

      By Anonymous Anonymous, at May 03, 2006 5:28 PM  

    • No to toilet roll, but yes to cup and sponges! Wana knoe why?

      http://www.ping-net.com/digi/onazuri/200112.html

      By Blogger Acrix, at May 03, 2006 6:11 PM  

    • i dont know that guy mastubate with toilet roll paper...

      By Anonymous Anonymous, at May 03, 2006 6:41 PM  

    • acrix: so... we leave the toilet paper roll alone.. but we start raping the cups..... i think i need to start another campaign!

      By Blogger Boss Stewie, at May 03, 2006 7:20 PM  

    • hrmmm...... you know... sometimes.. things are best known to someone AFTER EXPERIENCING IT!!!!!!!

      for it or AGAINST IT.. doesnt matter la.. that's not the point.. :X

      By Blogger Kiss my ass, at May 03, 2006 7:27 PM  

    • eh..... come to think of it...

      HOW COME YOUR ANDREX toilet paper GOT BROWN KALER STAINS ON IT GEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....

      HRMM!!*("(£^"!^*"^£$!(%$%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      ¬.¬''

      By Blogger Kiss my ass, at May 03, 2006 7:29 PM  

    • hahahaha i don't know what stain is that shireen.. maybe kept inside my cupboard for too long... my flat here very old and run down wan..


      chocolat: ok through my experience... all guys watch porn. the only guys who don't are the more girly ones... or the ones who don't admit that they do. be careful.. the ones that seem the most guai are actually the most ham sap!

      hahahaha

      By Blogger Boss Stewie, at May 03, 2006 7:46 PM  

    • Leng for the content! Mou to pple who ta fei kei with toilet paper roll or paper cup. WTF?

      I think you also you need to include a campaign called "sayangi kotek anda dgn cara yang betul".

      By Anonymous Anonymous, at May 03, 2006 8:21 PM  

    • HAHAHAAHAHAHAH i soooooo agree with Chapree...

      and stewie... that's not a bloody reason.. your cupboard will discharge errrmm brownish kaler liquid on your andrex meh... i suspect otherwise....

      By Blogger Kiss my ass, at May 03, 2006 8:30 PM  

    • HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      i honestly don't know what that is... could be the water from our radiator.. the water in the radiator is not exactly crystal clear (clean).. or maybe even from the leaking boiler we have since the boiler is in the cupboard.

      hahaha i know what you're implying.. and no.. my flatmate and i don't fancy taking a shit on top of a dozen andrex!

      WE LOVE ANDREX!!!

      By Blogger Boss Stewie, at May 03, 2006 8:56 PM  

    • Well I've tried screwing every thing else...why not a toilet paper roll? It's cheaper than an inflatable woman too! Remember this is National Masturbation Month so y'all join in the festivities!

      By Blogger Mike Stewart, at May 03, 2006 9:53 PM  

    • wah, not even 24 hours yet but 36 votes edi r?? fuyoh..

      btw, leng!
      i loved d poster!

      By Blogger electronicfly, at May 03, 2006 10:13 PM  

    • amazing!

      By Blogger Undercover Jerk, at May 04, 2006 1:13 AM  

    • horny old guy.. i... don't know what to say..

      By Anonymous Anonymous, at May 04, 2006 1:50 AM  

    • hey boss stewie-

      a friend of ours once told me that the more comfy the toilet paper, the less bio degradable it is. meaning the less green the world would be and the more rubbish that would pile up in the world. ergo- dont diss tesco's. mueheheheh!!!

      ps that friend of ours was also my flattie and have told me this fun fact, am sure you can guess who..:)

      By Anonymous Anonymous, at May 05, 2006 5:53 AM  

    • I can't condemn this site after all they are very "Green".

      What could be more ecologically friendly that recycling a toilet roll inner for self pleasure. :D

      By Blogger Suze, at August 15, 2006 6:20 PM  

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    • Your blogpost is funny and accurate--

      Because everybody knows you don't use the CARDBOARD PART OF THE ROLL. In fact, that's the part you REMOVE so that you can use the now softer hole in the center of the full roll of paper. (I do recommend keeping that roll separate from others.)

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