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  • Monday, July 10, 2006

    Understanding women

    Yesterday I had a friend call me up late at night to ask for advice. He was having problems with his girlfriend that only he knew about.

    He was very down and upset because it was quite obvious not only to himself but to everyone else that his girlfriend was the one wearing the pants in the relationship.


    Actually in his case, it was so bad that have to add that while his girlfriend wears the pants, he wears the g-string (and not just ANY g-string, the near transparent purple girly types).

    He was saying how he had no girl friends and that his girlfriend doesn't even like him hanging out with me much because I'm a 'bad influence' and because I supposedly tend to 'introduce sluts' to him.

    Anyway, I gave him my perspective.


    I'm a bit of a chauvinistic man, something that caught on after I had a girlfriend in the past that not only wore the pants in our relationship but also held the bullwhip that was used to smack my pink butt every time I went astray.

    But I learned from my mistake after that experience and adapted. That wasn't exactly a very good thing because all my girlfriends after that always whined about how I never listened to them and how there friends' boyfriends always listened to them.

    Yet, I strongly believe that a man should take charge and never be controlled by his woman.
    Men were born with balls so that they can stand up straight on their own.

    Imagine a man without balls... the weight of his penis will make him bend forward when he tries to stand up straight right?

    Balls hold him down...

    Balls help him stand straight!


    Allow me to illustrate.
    Of course, in the modern world, chauvinism has evolved.

    Men have to learn to do it cleverly.


    With the latest fad in Girl Power, NEVER challenge a woman head on because she will DESTROY you.


    That's right... a woman has the power to enlarge your kotek to the size of KOMTAR
    but also the power to make it shrink to the size of a flower that nobody notices
    (and not just ANY flower... a PINK FLOWER).

    So how do you remain in control without challenging her?

    Easy... make sure you don't "WIN" all the time.

    For example, when she wants you to do something that you don't really mind doing, make a big fuss out of it but in the end still do it for her telling her that you're only doing it because she wants you to.

    Remember how I made a big fuss about Tuh Tuh?
    Seriously, I really didn't care even if my baby attached a packet of sanitary pads to my phone but I had to make it look like I did so that she felt that she was in control.
    But when it comes to things that matter to you, put your foot down and say
    "NO!!! I WANT IT DONE MY WAY OR NO WAY AT ALL".

    This way, she'll remember

    "Oh yes... the last time he gave in to me when it was so hard for him to do so... so now I'll give in to him and do it his way."

    Of course some guys will say


    "Aiyah... I anything wan lar... I don't mind if my girlfriend decides everything for me..."


    But that is not particulary right because sooner or later you're going to want to be the Boss and you'll realize that you could only be the Boss at this point in life.


    Let mother nature explain this to you. Before marriage, a lion calls the shots.

    After marriage on the other hand...

    It is inevitable that one day we will all be slaves to our WIVES.

    There is no use fighting it... IT WILL HAPPEN!!!


    Therefore, while we are young and legally single, we must.. MUST MUST WEAR THE BLOODY PANTS IN THE RELATIONSHIP!!!
    So men, whenever you're in doubt... think of the lion before marriage...
    then think of the lion AFTER marriage....
    and you will know what you MUST do.

    An extra tip: When you know you're in control in your relationship, the last thing you should do is brag or BLOG ABOUT IT unless of course there is a way you can keep your woman away from your blog until the post runs old.


    (
    In my case... my baby's coming down to Penang today so she's going to be away from her little computer that she uses to read Leng Mou... BWAHAHAHA)

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