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  • Monday, June 12, 2006

    There comes a time in every man's life where...


    There comes a time in every man's life where his woman will ask him

    "Darling... would you still love me if I was fat?"

    and the man would then lie on impulse saying

    "Yes darling... I would love you even if you were so fat you played snooker with the planets"
    This time for me was just two days ago.

    I was in my room teaching my baby how to be a camwhore when she popped that same question.


    Only... instead of the "Standard Men" Reply, I said

    "Awww of course not baby... there's only room for one fat person in this relationship and that's me."

    In less than 2 seconds (while I was still snapping her pictures), her face changed from that in the picture above, to this
    and then she started merajukking (sulking),


    Initially I thought she was joking so all I did was laugh and click away with my camera.

    But I knew she was serious when she pointed her finger at me and made it clear to me that if I didn't put that camera down that instant she would attach that my left testicle to my forehead.


    So I put my camera down and started saying things like

    "Sorry lorr... I really didn't mean to say you're fat... I was just joking... I am an insensitive fat bastard. I am the fat one!"

    Hours later we came to an agreement after she finally thought of a terrible punishment to give me for my 'insensitivity' and for 'not understanding a woman's need for security'.

    INTRODUCING THE MOTOROLA V3 RAZR.

    The Motorola V3 is a PHENOMENON.

    It is a handsome phone, a phone that I fell in love with the minute I saw it in a shop window in London almost one and a half years ago.

    It is in my opinion among the most MANLY (and not ugly) clam shell phones to date because rather than being rounded like most other clam shell phones, the Motorola V3 has SHARP EDGES and is yet very very SLICK.

    The V3 is so manly looking that I'm sure they require you to have at least an 18 inch cock before they let you buy one.

    Of course... girls will be girls and they will always find a way to make manly things look feminine.

    Just like how they turned the MANLY FERRARI ENZO INTO A PINK FAGGOT


    Which brings us back to the punishment that my baby gave me.

    Yes... as a punishment... she PIMPED my Motorola V3 Razr and no it wasn't as simple as making it pink...

    It was much worse...

    SHE ATTACHED A STRINGY THINGY TO IT!!!

    Now it is gay enough for a guy to have a string attached to his handphone with little bells or so...

    But she attached a LITTLE TURTLE TO MY MAN OF ALL PHONES!!!
    AUGHHH!!!!

    Then she made me promise not to take it off and that if I took it off, it would mean that I don't love her.

    So here I am ... forced to walk around in PUBLIC... with a TURTLE ATTACHED TO MY PHONE!!!

    Just look at the sonofabitch smile...

    He knows... he knows that I am finally a WOMAN REPELLANT

    *sniff*

    I can feel my manhood flow away from me every minute now...

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