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  • Tuesday, May 30, 2006

    Stewie's Day Out

    London is a city of 7.5 million people and is widely regarded as one of the world's major global cities but yet, I never really liked London.

    I remember when I first arrived in London 3 years ago. Staring out the taxi window I looked at the gloomy streets we drove past and I couldn't help but think

    "Diu I can't believe I'm going to have to be here for 3 years".
    Looking back, those 3 years actually flew past like a breeze.

    Knowing that I have less than week left before I have to stop calling myself a "Londoner", I yesterday decided to take a long walk around the city to see what the big fuss is about.

    The destination was Regent's Park in London, not the biggest but certainly the most pleasant park in London (in my opinion at least).

    London is a concrete jungle just like New York but we do have our big beautiful parks so I decided that I had to go to the park and read a book... following the ways of the ang mohs.

    My daddy says "When in Rome, do as the Romans do".

    However, on the way to the park I turned into a street only to see this


    People dressed in Oliver Twist-Style clothing and instead of cars on the roads, there were horses with carriages riding on dirt roads (instead of the usual tar roads).

    I initially panicked. I thought that I had been such a naughty boy that decided to punish me by sending me back into a time where there was no internet and where someone up theremini skirts and tube tops didn't exist.

    But soon enough I began to see things clearly.

    Without knowing it, I walked into a MOVIE SET.


    The film crew shut down the street I was walking on just to film a movie that was probably set in the the old days.


    Look closely at the photo below and you might spot the camera crew with their equipment.

    Once I got bored watching them do the same scene over and over again, I carried on with my journey to the park.

    45 minutes later, I finally reached Regent's Park!


    Regent's Park is a 487 acre oasis of peace and quiet in the middle of London.

    Standing anywhere in Regent's Park you can see people playing football in the grassy fields and some other people sitting down in the sun to read their books

    (something you can never do in Malaysia. Well actually... you can.. but people will call you an idiot).

    There is even a little playground for kids!
    My friend and I got ourselves some ice-cream and hung out in the children's playground until we spotted something terribly disturbing.

    One would think that a children's playground is a very innocent place. Children are innocent and there is nothing about a children's playground that could spoil a child's innocence right?

    Well that's what I thought, until I saw this.
    You're probably thinking what you're supposed to be looking at but if you looked closely at that previous picture, you would see this in the distance.
    Yes, an ASS CRACK in a CHILDREN'S PLAYGROUND!!!

    I hate to say this again but this really proves my point that I made in a previous post that it is so much harder for us to stay pure in the world today.

    Anyway I found a nice spot in the park and I sat down to read my book.

    2 hours later I got tired of reading and decided to walk towards a lake in the park.
    Now as I got closer to the lake I saw my first warning sign of what was to come next.

    A DUCK.

    Ooooohh... Boss Stewie loves Roast Duck and just looking at that fat meaty duck there made my mouth water.

    Unfortunately, nobody is allowed to touch the duck because all ducks in England belong to the Queen and we can get arrested for killing or eating any of these ducks.

    I think the ducks there knew it... because they didn't stop trying to tempt me
    At first I ignored the duck walked towards the lake.

    Then I saw even more ducks on the lake but I looked away and just walked straight without turning my head.

    But that didn't help because the DUCKS FOLLOWED ME WHEREVER I WENT!!!
    I started RUNNING... RUN STEWIE RUN!!!

    But the damn ducks just kept swimming faster and closer to me


    So there I stood, in front of a couple of extremely well-fed and potentially delicious ducks... and I had to make a choice.

    Satisfy my urge now and go to prison or die of my addiction.

    I left the park early and knew exactly where I had to go (for dinner, at the Four Seasons restaurant in Bayswater).

    Well let's just say I had this for dinner.

    And no no.. not just one duck... 3 whole fat meaty tasty ducks.

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