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  • Saturday, December 31, 2005

    The Clubbing Twist in Penang

    There is something about clubbing in Penang that makes it different from everywhere else in the world. Apart from the usual music, dancing, booz and girls... there is... the Pondan show that's becoming ever so popular.

    First, a blonde pondan comes up on stage and dances like a mad tribal woman.

    Then... a group of Pondans dressed with sexy 'cowgirl' gear follow along.

    And then we're back to ONE horrible dancing Pondan And just like in the broadway musical: Cats.... we have a pondan sentimental moment where the light shines on her (him) and she brings together a slow sentimental moment... one that almost makes all the girls in the club hug the guys next to them.

    Yes... if you're not from Penang... you're probably wondering...

    "What ... The ... FUCK... is with you Penang people and your pondan shows in clubs?"

    The truth is... I don't know.. perhaps when you're a little high... anything in a dress looks good... no matter whats on the inside.

    But ... lets be fair here. The club does have its good times and we Penang people do know how to have our fun. Later on in the night... there was the "Sexy Dance Competition" where girls from the crowd go up to give the club the most sexy dance EVER.

    The winner is selected by the loudest cheer from the crowd and goes away with 2 bottles of Chivas. On the other hand... us guys... get to watch girls put on the sexiest dance they had ever known. So... a win-win situation!!!

    Look closely... this next girl has ABSAnyway, last night's winner of the Sexy Dance Competition wasn't exactly the best I had ever seen (the best I had ever seen made at least 20 guys in the club cum in their pants over and over again), but I have to give her credit for one thing.

    She... knew exactly... how to shake that ass... almost as if she moved her ass by a joystick on a remote control.

    So if you're ever in Penang... drop Boss Stewie a line... and we shall go clubbing...

    Friday, December 30, 2005

    Rich Boys' Toys

    Last night, I was at another rich friend's party back here in Penang. Upon arrival at the party, it wasn't difficult to see that the kids attending the party were... not poor.

    Among the Mercs and BMWs, parked inside and outside the house were... an Evo VIII

    a new Golf GTI...

    and many other cars that most of us... will never be able to afford :(

    But what really caught my attention wasn't the cars of the guests, but the home of the host. Inside the modern-looking house (I mean palace), there were 3 fish ponds filled with Japanese Koi.

    When I say Japanese Koi... I LITERALLY mean Japanese Koi. Each and every one of those fish were imported all the way from Japan and are worth from thousands to tens of thousands to hundreds of thousands of Ringgit EACH.
    I stood by the ponds for almost an hour, watching the fish that cost more than my home. It dawned on me that when someone's fish cost more than your home, you know that you are either

    a) a very poor man
    b) or in the home of a very very rich man

    In my case... it was both.

    If their price tags weren't impressive enough. The fish could also do little tricks!!!
    We were taught to hold food in our hand and put our hands in the water. Almost instantly, the fish would all come in a horde to eat right off your hand.

    It is amazing what rich fish can do. It won't be long before we can tell them to Sit, Roll over, Play Dead... or bite the fellas ballz off!

    Finally, to make the party even more amazing. I had the best chocolate cheesecake ever in my life, personally imported by my friend from California.

    This cake may look like any other cake from Secret Recipe or Coffee Bean, but do NOT be deceived. It is made with Godiva chocolates and costs a whopping USD60-70

    So the next time you are in California... pay a visit to...
    *sigh*... how nice it would be... to have money...

    Thursday, December 29, 2005

    One of the Reasons Why We Love Proton

    I got these pictures by e-mail today and I thought I'd share it with everyone.

    These pictures show us how Proton and the other foreign cars have developed throughout the years.

    But in all fairness... Proton hasn't been sitting around doing nothing. Rather than updating their Iswaras and Wiras, they concentrate on new cars... like the Waja, Gen2 and oh lets not forget the lovely Proton Chancellor.

    Nevertheless, I can't believe they're still selling the same Proton Wira that they were selling 12 years ago (though it is one of the best Proton's ever built in my opinion).

    Monday, December 26, 2005

    The Things Girls Listen to and the Things They Don't

    The Introduction

    Just over a week ago I was out clubbing with some friends at Glo in Penang and happened to break a wristband of mine that was a gift from my gf. So one day, while she was reading her law book in my room, I decided to tell her about it. What happened next was something I just couldn''t understand.

    The following reenactment took place after 2 hours of pujuking.

    I said all that and all she heard was " ... holding my hand..... "

    I will never understand women :(

    Sunday, December 25, 2005

    Malaysia's Christmas Present to Penang

    The more I think about it... the more I believe that one day not too long ago, the whole of Malaysia decided that

    "Hey... Penang is a small little island... lets all go there on Christmas Day to see how many cars it would take to sink it... it would be soo fun..)

    The result... MASSIVE FUKIN JAM (notice the non-Penang number plates of the cars)

    Hell even the Singaporeans got in on the fun...

    Yesterday, it took me 1 hour to travel 2 kilometres by car. FAaaaantasttic... I'm loving it.. loving it loving it.

    Thank you Malaysia. Merry Christmas everyone!!!

    Penang *HUGZ* Malaysia

    Saturday, December 24, 2005

    Penangnites and Snooker

    There is something about Penangnites and Snooker. A very many Penangnites are crazy over the 'gentlemen' sport that I always thought looks very much like a miniature football field. I on the other hand, have always been a Pool fan... never really Snooker.

    Last night we were at my rich friend's 5-storey home that comes fully equipped with a seaview, 5 Mercedes' and a Snooker table (if you're wondering why our houses are so damn small in Penang, blame the mansions like this that take up all the land on our little island!!!).

    Anyway, I decided to give Snooker a shot.

    But I just didn't have the 'gentleman' in me to play it right. Barely even halfway through the game, we got bored...

    and then we got more bored...
    and then it struck us...

    That it was time to go for supper.

    By Popular Demand (Not for the guys)

    Some time ago, I posted up a picture of me wearing shorts and suffering from a sneezing fit. For a very funny reason, some of the girls that visit this blog seemed to pay less attention to my suffering, and more attention to my 'botak' legs.

    Guys who visit this blog, especially the ones I know ie.. Hong Wee, Adrian, William, Gin, etc etc... (don't be pissed if I left you out ok? I'm not trying to list out everyone here)

    June, Muffy, Jess... this entry is mainly for the 3 of you so put your handphones on silent and look closely.
    THERE!!! I DID IT. I posted a picture of my leg. And if you look closely, you may notice some little thin black fibres that some people call "LEG HAIR". So I do NOT shave my legs.

    Sure sure, I may not be as hairy as this guy
    But I am definately... not botak!!!

    Ohh.. I can't believe I just made this post. Look at what you girls made me do... *hides head in shame*

    Thursday, December 22, 2005

    The day I got caught buying Lecka Lecka

    Yesterday I started on a 3-day trip down to KL for two reasons:
    1) An interview that took place today and
    2) to go to Midvalley for something special (which wasn't the Christmas tree).

    There I was standing on the 1st floor of the Center Court in a crowd of camera-wielding-people taking pictures of THIS (one floor below):I, on the other hand, was facing the other way and taking pictures of THIS: That's right. LECKA LECKA!!! That is the one thing we don't have in Penang that I LURRRRRRVE SOOO MUCH. Unfortunately, my very "potong stim" girlfriend thinks that I am too fat to eat Lecka Lecka... but what the hell... since when do men ever listen to women.

    While she was distracted by the Christmas Tree, I snuck back to the ice-cream booth and whispered to the man behind the counter
    "Triple scoop, Fererro, Chocolate and Orea... Make it quick... GO GO GO!!!"

    Little did I know that my "potong stim" girlfriend soon noticed that I was missing and decided to catch me in the act with my OWN CAMERA!!! (OH THE BETRAYAL).

    What happened next is the following:

    a few seconds later
    What happened when I turned around with Lecka Lecka in my right hand was too vicious to be put up on Leng Mou?

    To cut a long story short, lets just say that I am a changed man now. My gf is a good pretty girl who cares for me and I love to follow her shoe shopping at Vincci. Not only will I follow her shopping every day for the next one week but I will also buy her all the shoes she wants.

    I am a very very bad fat man. Lecka Lecka is bad for fat men like me and it doesn't matter if it is 94.99% fat free like I used to say. I am too FAT to be eating Lecka Lecka and I should spend more time in the gym or shoe shopping with my gf.

    Sigh, all that... just for this

    Wednesday, December 21, 2005

    We Penang Drivers

    We Penang Drivers are proud people.
    Since light travels faster than sound, we believe that hand signals are more effective than the honk. For example:
    This is the same sonofabitch 2 minutes later. And the same sonofabitch 3 minutes later
    We Penang Drivers love our cars more than our women.Some more than others... Where there is food... WE SHALL PARK.

    Where there are yellow lines... WE SHALL STILL PARK.

    And where there are fire hydrants... WE SHALL MOST DEFINATELY PARK

    Annnnnd finally... we Penang Drivers... love our cheesy car stickers. PS: I blurred out the number plates of some of the traffic offenders... because I am not a bastard.