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  • Wednesday, May 31, 2006

    The New Roast Duck Eating Record

    Before I begin this post, let me just say that we've been getting all your e-mails and messages giving us 101 reasons why we should NOT stop blogging and how we are both very "SELFISH" and "HEARTLESS"for getting some of you addicted just to drop you all of a sudden.

    Don't get me wrong, it's not like we suddenly decided to stop...

    Since Leng Mou was founded in late November 2005, it was agreed that it would only go on till June 2006 (check out the blog description). We never imagined that we would grow to what it is today.

    Anyway, Boss Lepton is coming down to London later today and we shall talk about whether or not to continue with Leng Mou.

    The truth is... the both of us have also grown quite attached to some of our readers who often comment so there is a chance we might just decide to continue.

    Ok now on with the post.

    Today, a group of us went to eat Roast Duck AGAIN at the Four Seasons Restaurant at Bayswater, London. Of the group, 4 of us (including myself) sat on a seperate table to break the record of the most ducks eaten per person in the restaurant; something I've always wanted to do before I went back to Malaysia.

    It all started a while ago when one of the waiters of the restaurant challenged us to eat one duck per person which is insanely much.

    Allow me to give you some perspective.

    On a normal meal at the Four Seasons, normal people will order half a roast duck, some vegetables, maybe some tofu and maybe another meat dish.

    But my friends and I believe that since we have to queue up for so long just to get a seat in the restaurant and because the duck is so good, we should take things to the extreme and eat nothing but duck, vegetable and rice. Pic Info: The record breaking duck-eaters. Nobody in London eats more duck than we do.

    So today, 4 of us decided to eat as much duck as we could. When the waiter came up to us to take our order we ordered (in Cantonese) "4 whole ducks please."

    The guy's eyeballs popped out of his sockets and he said
    "Do you mean 4 WHOLE ducks or 4 duck rice?"

    We felt a little insulted there for a while but we went on to say
    "Yes... 4 WHOLE DUCKS".

    Our order got the attention of the tables around us and the rest of the waiters who were probably making bets in the kitchen on whether we could finish our ducks or not. Soon, the ducks arrived. and 20 minutes later we were done with all four and halfway through our vegetable dish. Then we decided that since we've already come so far, we might as well order another duck... and order we did.

    The waiter almost didn't want to serve us the additional duck. She thought we were pulling her leg but after assuring her that we were DEAD SERIOUS, she went ahead and brought it over for us.
    Of course, we finished in less than 10 minutes. At the end of the dinner, the 4 of us ate a total of 5 ducks which adds up to a Duck/Person ratio of 1.25, the highest the restaurant has ever had.

    So if any of you London juniors out there beat our record, do let us know so we have an excuse to go back and eat more.

    The final bill came up to GBP 103 (after student discount) which turned out to be about RM700.
    Yes, it is true... 4 of us had ate RM700 worth of duck in one night.

    My baby is not going to be very happy if she hears about this.

    Baby... dun scold ok? bb guai.. bb tomorrow go gym...

    Tuesday, May 30, 2006

    Stewie's Day Out

    London is a city of 7.5 million people and is widely regarded as one of the world's major global cities but yet, I never really liked London.

    I remember when I first arrived in London 3 years ago. Staring out the taxi window I looked at the gloomy streets we drove past and I couldn't help but think

    "Diu I can't believe I'm going to have to be here for 3 years".
    Looking back, those 3 years actually flew past like a breeze.

    Knowing that I have less than week left before I have to stop calling myself a "Londoner", I yesterday decided to take a long walk around the city to see what the big fuss is about.

    The destination was Regent's Park in London, not the biggest but certainly the most pleasant park in London (in my opinion at least).

    London is a concrete jungle just like New York but we do have our big beautiful parks so I decided that I had to go to the park and read a book... following the ways of the ang mohs.

    My daddy says "When in Rome, do as the Romans do".

    However, on the way to the park I turned into a street only to see this

    People dressed in Oliver Twist-Style clothing and instead of cars on the roads, there were horses with carriages riding on dirt roads (instead of the usual tar roads).

    I initially panicked. I thought that I had been such a naughty boy that decided to punish me by sending me back into a time where there was no internet and where someone up theremini skirts and tube tops didn't exist.

    But soon enough I began to see things clearly.

    Without knowing it, I walked into a MOVIE SET.

    The film crew shut down the street I was walking on just to film a movie that was probably set in the the old days.

    Look closely at the photo below and you might spot the camera crew with their equipment.

    Once I got bored watching them do the same scene over and over again, I carried on with my journey to the park.

    45 minutes later, I finally reached Regent's Park!

    Regent's Park is a 487 acre oasis of peace and quiet in the middle of London.

    Standing anywhere in Regent's Park you can see people playing football in the grassy fields and some other people sitting down in the sun to read their books

    (something you can never do in Malaysia. Well actually... you can.. but people will call you an idiot).

    There is even a little playground for kids!
    My friend and I got ourselves some ice-cream and hung out in the children's playground until we spotted something terribly disturbing.

    One would think that a children's playground is a very innocent place. Children are innocent and there is nothing about a children's playground that could spoil a child's innocence right?

    Well that's what I thought, until I saw this.
    You're probably thinking what you're supposed to be looking at but if you looked closely at that previous picture, you would see this in the distance.

    I hate to say this again but this really proves my point that I made in a previous post that it is so much harder for us to stay pure in the world today.

    Anyway I found a nice spot in the park and I sat down to read my book.

    2 hours later I got tired of reading and decided to walk towards a lake in the park.
    Now as I got closer to the lake I saw my first warning sign of what was to come next.

    A DUCK.

    Ooooohh... Boss Stewie loves Roast Duck and just looking at that fat meaty duck there made my mouth water.

    Unfortunately, nobody is allowed to touch the duck because all ducks in England belong to the Queen and we can get arrested for killing or eating any of these ducks.

    I think the ducks there knew it... because they didn't stop trying to tempt me
    At first I ignored the duck walked towards the lake.

    Then I saw even more ducks on the lake but I looked away and just walked straight without turning my head.

    But that didn't help because the DUCKS FOLLOWED ME WHEREVER I WENT!!!
    I started RUNNING... RUN STEWIE RUN!!!

    But the damn ducks just kept swimming faster and closer to me

    So there I stood, in front of a couple of extremely well-fed and potentially delicious ducks... and I had to make a choice.

    Satisfy my urge now and go to prison or die of my addiction.

    I left the park early and knew exactly where I had to go (for dinner, at the Four Seasons restaurant in Bayswater).

    Well let's just say I had this for dinner.

    And no no.. not just one duck... 3 whole fat meaty tasty ducks.

    Monday, May 29, 2006

    It's official... We're all ugly people now

    Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie just had their long awaited baby girl and they named her Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt.

    When I was back in Malaysia last December, I remember hearing off the radio some professor mention that if you put 2 beautiful people together... their kids will probably grow up to be beautiful as well.

    Now Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are said to be among the most attractive people on Earth... so what will their baby look like when she grows up to be a full-grown woman?

    Well the answer to that question is either "REALLY HOT" or "REALLY UGLY".

    But my guess is "REALLY HOT".


    Its almost as if beautiful people aren't beautiful enough and now they have to mate with one another to make even more beautiful babies. WHY?! WHY!?! WHY DO THEY DO THAT?!?

    Why can't we just have the old fashioned equilibrium of the world where the beautiful people are stupid and poor and the ugly are smart and rich.

    Why has Hollywood made life so unfair?!?!

    To make matters worse, they named her Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt.

    Now if you know your baby is beautiful and you want to strike some balance in our unforgiving world, then you should at least have the courtesy of giving her a stupid and meaningless name right?

    A name like
    or a name like

    "Bab Bob Peep Eek Pop Pip Pip Pip Pong Pitt"

    or it could even be something simple... like

    "Kok You Pitt"

    or take out her middle name and just call her

    "Kok Pitt"
    Or just name her after a vegetable.

    But noooo.. they had to give her some special name like Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt.

    Will somebody please make my day and tell me that Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt means ketiak busuk in some foreign language... please?

    Anyone?? Anyone??? Nobody??

    Hmph.. I hope Brad and Angelina spoil her.

    I hope they feed her nothing but ice-cream, chocolates and junk food to make her fat.

    Make her so fat and chubby that people will call her Porky Pitt.

    Sunday, May 28, 2006

    The End is Near......... But a New Life has begun

    Oh what the hell, I just can't stop laughing when I saw these pictures I got in my email this morning.

    Most of you might have seen this b4 but allow Boss Lepton to attempt to write a story out of it.

    What the hell, since you all know Boss Lepton is utterly useless in attempting to make all you laugh I'll try to write it in 2 languages, hokkien and hokkien.

    Er wait, that's not right....... ok fine, maybe 3 languages so to be fair to all you people who can't speak hokkien.

    Here goes, don't laugh at me if my language skills are really bad ok?

    Warning, 18SX from beyond here, proceed at your risk.

    Ah Beng ka Ah Lian jin sukak ginna. Tapi yi lang mm zai zo mik, kao in eh neh ku liao Ah Lian koh beh tua poh tor.

    Subramaniam dan Lily adalah suami isteri yang cinta-mencintai. Mereka cinta kanak-kanak. Tapi tak tahu kenapa, mereka masih tak ada kanak-kanak untuk main.

    Mr and Mrs Stewie are a pair of loving couple. They are in desperate need of a child because playing with each other isn't that much of fun anymore.

    Uu ji meh, Ah Beng lim jin nia cheh jiu. Yi mabuk liao. Tui kao chu eh si, yi kua tiok Ah Lian boh cheng sa. Yi pun ki poh Ah Lian. Yi lang poh poh liao koh chim lai chim ki. Yi eh lan jiao pun kiao ki lai liao.

    Pada suatu malam, Subramaniam dimabukkan arak. Apabila dia memasuki rumahnya, Subramaniam ternampak Lily bogel. Ia telah memaksa kejantanannya menjadi tegang dan serupa batang basebol.

    Mr Stewie is also a lousy drinker. He went down after a few shots of Vodka(Ice- 5% alcohol) while Mrs Stewie was still standing after 5 bottles. Looking at this, Mrs Stewie took advantage of the situation by stripping naked and forcefully push viagra into Mr Stewie's mouth. Mr Stewie's manhood suddenly got enhanced.

    Ah Beng kah meh liak Ah Lian ki bin ceng. Yi lang noh kian beh teng chim lai chim ki. Ah Beng kua tiok Ah Lian eh cibai tam tam liao, yi pun gia yi eh lan jiao chak jip ki. Tapi yi eh lan jiao tai seh ki liao, Ah Lian boh kam kak tiok. Tapi yi boh chap siao la, hor Ah Beng gan nia lo, keh si keh si syok pun mian gin.

    Chak jip chak chut, chak jip chak chut, boh kau 1 minit Ah Beng pun lai liao. Yi sngeh yi eh mik gia jip ki Ah Lian eh cibai la bin.

    Subramaniam mendukung Lily ke katil dan terus meraba-raba badan Lily. Mereka juga bermain cium-cium dan menggosok-gosok badan. Apabila Sebramaniam terlihat muka Lily merah dan kewanita-an(puki or whatever you call it) Lily basah, dia pun terus memaksa batangnya yang sudah lama lembek ke dalam Lily. Tetapi, ia tidak dapat masuk sebab terlalu lembek. Walau bagaimanapun, dia menggunakan batang yang lembek untuk menggosok kotek dengan puki Lily.

    Lepas menggosok-gosok sekian lama, dia memegang batangnya tengah tengah puki Lily dan menembak air maninya ke dalam Lily.

    Mrs Stewie is an abusive lady. She grabbed Mr Stewie's hardened dick and threaten him she would pull it off if he would not want to put it in her. She pushed him into bed and told Mr Stewie to start thrusting his dick into her female-hood. Then Stewie started doing so with his already hardened dick because he was thinking, "My dick is more important than my manhood". Well, obviously he can't think right because he's drunk.

    "But what the hell," he thought, "Free Pussy." And he started doing so with passion.

    1 second, 2 second, 3 second, 4 second,....... "AAAHHHHH, OH YEA NEW RECORD FOR ME, with viagra I can stand for 5 seconds." Mr Stewie said to himself, before shooting his load into Mrs Stewie(who is screaming her lungs off) and his dick turning flaccid.







    OK that went a bit too far.

    And I am really struggling to finish the story. So anybody wanna help me out here? Please send your ending to the story to lengmoublog@yahoo.com.

    Here are the rest of the pictures.

    What made me laugh was the 2nd last picture. Does it look to you that the baby is crawling out from the mother's womb??

    Suddenly Stewie from Family Guy came to my thought.

    Ok that was a bad post isn't it? Sigh, sorry la I tried.


    Btw, if any of you who could read or write chinese, please visit Sinroot.com and give a little support to this new forum. One of my friends started it and I think it can be quite a decent forum. Any suggestions for sinroot is welcomed and I will relay all your opinions to the people behind sinroot.


    p.s. in the meantime, please help me finish the story *sob sob*

    Saturday, May 27, 2006

    How well do you know Leng Mou?

    I love sending postcards and since I'll be leaving London in a week's time... I thought that it would be nice to send one last postcard back home.

    But rather than sending it to my baby or my family whom have received over a million of them in the past 3 years that I've been in London, I thought:

    Why not send it to one of our readers?
    The contest

    Of course, we have many readers so it would be unfair to send only to one of you so here's what we'll do.

    We've put together 10 questions about Leng Mou to see how well you know Leng Mou.

    All the answers for the questions can be found in the blog itself just by looking at our previous posts in the archives so I'm not going to ask questions like "What colour are my balls?" because I never mentioned or implied it in our posts.

    The person who gets all 10 questions correct and most accurately will win.

    So cut and paste all the questions below and fill in your answers below them. Then e-mail it to us as lengmoublog@yahoo.com

    The contest will end at 7am Malaysian time on Monday so send in the answers to us before then if you want to take part in the little fun and action.

    The reward

    We will send the winner a postcard (signed of course by both Boss Lepton and I) all the way from London to wherever you are in the world.

    In the case where more than 1 person gets all the right answers we will pick a winner at random and send an e-mail to him/her to ask for the address that the postcard is to be sent to and a photo even, if you would like everyone on Leng Mou to know that it was you who won :P

    So here are the questions... Good Luck!

    1) Who wrote the most disgusting blog entry ever posted on Leng Mou (Boss Lepton or Boss Stewie). What was it called?

    2) In Leng Mou's Art of Annoying, one of the testaments involved rearranging furniture in your friend's living room. What was that testament specifically called?

    3) Boss Stewie loves to launch "Campaigns" on Leng Mou with posters. What was the first campaign that Boss Stewie ever launched?

    4) Boss Lepton once found himself stuck in a public toilet without any toilet paper. What did he use to wipe his ass?

    5) One of the bloggers once got in trouble for picking a 'bad' song to sing during a Karaoke session with his sister, mother and girlfriend. Was it Boss Lepton or Boss Stewie?

    6) In which blog entry can this quote be found?

    7) Boss Lepton once wrote a post about bad parking in Malaysia. He found a note on a badly parked Kenari. What did the note say?

    8) Boss Stewie has very poor Bahasa Malaysia (Malay) and he proved it when he attempted to write a Malay essay on this blog. What was the title of the essay?

    9) When Boss Stewie goes to 1-Utama he loves to sneak off to eat his favourite ice-cream. What is his favourite ice-cream and who does he hide it from?

    10) Boss Stewie once wrote a post about what to do if you're travelling and you forget to bring your towel. What was the 4th Method of solving this problem as suggested by Boss Stewie?

    Good luck guys.

    PS: This is only for those who can be bothered to do it. If you have exams right now... then please DON'T waste your time unless you enjoy going back to read our old posts that you may have missed out.

    Friday, May 26, 2006

    The End is Near

    Good news everyone. Leng Mou is finally coming to an end.

    Boss Lepton has confirmed that he will be coming down to London on the 31st of May and he will be buying me my roast duck at the Four Seasons Restaurant in London (which was the whole reason why Leng Mou was started in the first place).

    The score is Boss Lepton with 10 lengs and Boss Stewie with 13 (although it wasn't exactly very fair because I blogged much more often than Boss Lepton).
    So our final blog entry on Leng Mou will be on the 1st of June 2006 which is slightly less than a week from now.

    After that Leng Mou will no longer be updated.

    A few people have come up to us to tell us that we should continue blogging and that we could one day be "huge blogging personalities" like Kennysia or Xiaxue but the truth is that neither of us want any of that.

    We started Leng Mou for fun and it has always been all about the fun and not about the number of hits or the traffic we get.

    Believe it or not, the one thing that has kept me blogging all this is all of you guys out there and all the hilarious comments that make me roll of the floor laughing.

    Sometimes I think you guys make me laugh more than I can possibly return the favour (no matter how hard I try).

    I will miss all of you when all this is over.

    We're not the funny ones in this blog... you guys are (
    and by guys I also mean... girls).

    I wake up every morning eager to see what comments that each one of you write. Though I can't possibly reply every single one of them, rest assured that I do read every one of them.

    In the mean time, we would just like to take this early opportunity to thank all of you for your company here. It is still beyond belief that Leng Mou which started just for personal fun between Boss Lepton and I grew to have so many visitors (8 to be exact) in just 6 months.

    We have all of you to thank for that!

    Since this is our last week, we shall try our best to update Leng Mou as much as possible in the next few days.

    Thursday, May 25, 2006

    Boss Stewie goes to church

    I am a sinner.

    I curse, drink, gamble and engage in pre-marital... uhmm... "activities" so there comes a time every now and then when I have to go to church and repent and beg for forgiveness.

    Such a time was yesterday.

    I followed one of my Catholic friends to church today.

    It was my first time in a Catholic church.

    A little background on my religious side, I come from a Buddhist family but we're not particularly very strict Buddhists.

    My mum always tells me that it is good to be religious and it doesn't matter in what religion.. as long as I believe in it.

    So when I was 14 my parents started sending me to a "Born-again"Christian church to learn some good values and learn I did.

    I was very active in church spending almost all my free time in church activities ie church retreats, camps... even carolling.

    But I made the mistake of breaking the Golden Rule of Going to Church.

    Of course back then I was lucky enough to win her heart but her father didn't want her to have anything to do with me because I didn't come from a Christian family and it didn't matter if I was active in church or not.

    He was probably right because after her I became quite the devil.

    Soon enough I stopped going to that church and I've since been exploring other types of Christianity.

    Which brings us to today when I decided to follow one of my best Hong Kong friends to his Catholic Church smack in the middle of London.

    It was a completely different church service to the one that I've been used to but it was surely eye-opening and the priest had no daughters so that was a good sign.

    Yes I kneeled and begged for forgiveness of all my sins.

    Then came the time for the Holy Communion where everyone lined up to go up to the priest to eat a small piece of biscuit (which represents bread) and drink some ribena (which represents wine).
    By right, since I'm not a baptised Catholic I shouldn't be taking part in it so while everyone lined up, I just stayed where I was... kneeling to pray.

    I couldn't help but feel that everyone else (which were mostly middle-aged to old ladies) was paying special attention to me while they were queuing up for their turn on the Holy Communion but I just shut my eyes and kept quiet.

    After the service my friend explained to me that Catholics believe that if you masturbate, you cannot take part in the Holy Communion until you confess your sin (of masturbating).

    Somehow everything began to make sense.

    There I was... kneeling down and not taking part in the Holy Communion and the old ladies around me were probably thinking

    "Yes... this ham sap boy.. must've masturbated before he came that's why cannot take part.

    Shame on him!


    He better pray harder for forgiveness.. PRAY HARDER!

    Yet I couldn't help to think that things are just a little bit more unfair to us these days.

    It would probably have been much easier to NOT sin or have impure thoughts if you were a caveboy thousands of years ago than if you were a little 10 year old boy at this age.

    Take for example a chubby 10 year old "bam bam-like" cave boy.

    On a normal day he would grab his club and go hunting. On the way to hunting he might see a few other cave people dressed in animal fur or he might see tigers, squirrels and all sorts of animals in the wild.

    Nothing that would exactly turn him on and give him impure thoughts... right? (unless of course he gets turned on by squirrels with their long furry sexy tail).
    Or if he sees plants/fruits like this

    Or this

    or even get himself to screw this... (which would probably hurt)

    Or if he's gay... then this
    or this
    Yes... Mother Nature too can be quite ham sap when she wants to be.

    Anyway, generally the cave boy doesn't sin.. right? I mean how often do you see watermelons the shape of an ass or weird torny plants the shape of a penis.

    Now consider another 10-year old boy but this one living in Hong Kong at present times.

    He is on his way to tuition one day dressed in the brand new matching Kiko shirt and pants that his mum bought for him the day before.

    Armed with his blue school bag he trots down the busy streets of Hong Kong feeling the summer breeze on his face and singing to himself "What a beautiful world"...

    Then all of a sudden he sees a very "under-dressed" girl walk past.

    Now it is up to you to guess what he was thinking at the very instant when the photo was taken.

    For all you know he could've been thinking PURE THOUGHTS like this

    or this

    or even this

    but I am pretty sure that this was what he really was thinking

    We live in a world of temptations.

    PS: To our many Muslim readers: This post touches a tad bit on religion (Christianity/Buddhism) but mainly on my personal experience so I hope this doesn't offend any of you.