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  • Wednesday, January 18, 2006

    Saya Sebatang Kotek

    10 years. That's how long an average Malaysian student studies the Malay language in school. Funny thing is that overseas I meet a lot of Malaysian students who seem to have forgotten everything they learned about Malay. I meet a lot of Malaysians who can't speak, read or write Malay anymore.

    As for me, my Malay had never been very good but it wasn't too bad either. I would sometimes get A's for my Karangans in school and I even used to do Syarahans.

    Anyway, I wondered to myself: It has been 4 years since I finished Form 5. I know I definately can still speak and read Malay, but the question is... can I still write?

    Whenever I think of writing Malay, I think of those days in Standard 1 where we would write small little Karangans (essays) with titles like "Saya Seekor Kuching". So, 14 years down the line, I decided to revisit those essays that normally have a maximum of 120 words. I sat down to write an essay without the help of a dictionary.

    And here is my essay entitled

    Saya Sebatang Kotek (I am a Cock)

    Helo! Nama saya Abu. Saya sebatang kotek berwarna hitam dan berukuran 15 inchi. Ya, banyak orang kata pemilik saya Bob sangat bernasib baik dilahirkan dengan saya tetapi sebenarnya, saya tidak dicintai. Tiap-tiap hari, saya disimpan di dalam seluarnya yang amat gelap dan dikeluarkan cuma apabila tiada orang di sekeliling. Manapun, Bob ada kalanya meluahkan hatinya kepada saya. Bila tiada orang nampak, Bob akan keluarkan saya dan menyentuh saya dengan kasih sayang yang amat lembut sampai says muntah. Saya tahu dalam minda Bob... saya memalukan dia.

    Semuanya berubah pada satu hari bila Bob sudah lebih 20 tahun. Dia tiba-tiba mula menyukai saya dan juga membeli pakaian cantik untuk saya. Walaubagaimanapun, pada satu hari... (akan disambung)

    116 Patah Perkataan

    ok... I give up.. I think I really can't write for shit... Ok everyone... altogether now...
    "BOO SAMA BOSS STEWIE!!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! "

    30 Comments:

    • LENG!!!

      cibaikia, u caught me with this 1, cannot stop laughing

      and it's not menyuntah, it's muntah. bah bah bah

      eh boss i told u b4 not? When I was in standard 6, I was the state runner-up in some stupid malay quiz. STATE RUNNER-UP MOU??? REPRESENT TO GO TO NATIONALS WOR!!! but lost there la

      By Blogger Boss Lepton, at January 18, 2006 8:15 AM  

    • or is it memuntah? hahahahaha

      score is stewie - 9, lepton - 4

      By Blogger Boss Stewie, at January 18, 2006 8:39 AM  

    • Ahahahh classic! :)

      About Malay...it's like any other language, if you don't use it in daily life or you are not forced to use it, you'd tend to forget it.

      By Blogger mooiness, at January 18, 2006 10:16 AM  

    • yes
      we shall all practice more malay!

      By Blogger Boss Stewie, at January 18, 2006 4:20 PM  

    • hahaha.... funny.. so nice the 'kotek'.. even get new clothes... LOL....

      By Anonymous jasmine, at January 18, 2006 4:39 PM  

    • LENGLENGLENGLENGLENGLENGLENGLENGLENGLENGLENGLENGLENG
      STEWIE DESERVES FOUR SEASONS JUST FOR THIS POST ALONE

      By Blogger William, at January 18, 2006 5:32 PM  

    • ahhahahaha.... Speaking of Bahasa, I wonder whether i can still write reports in bahasa or not (for Mal. Students Asso. meeting)...

      anyway saya kasih leng kuasa sepuluh kepada saudara Stewie...

      By Anonymous AKSaiful, at January 18, 2006 5:47 PM  

    • hahaha
      glad u all like it

      By Blogger Boss Stewie, at January 18, 2006 5:55 PM  

    • lol found u from spymy.com

      hahaha kelakar sial!

      By Blogger Kimberlycun, at January 18, 2006 5:57 PM  

    • oh gosh.
      this is a very classic essay...
      ...and funny too =)

      HEHEHEHEHE

      By Blogger cheng sim, at January 18, 2006 6:11 PM  

    • *ahem* you give up or you juz dun dare to elaborate further? *ahaks*

      By Anonymous Jess, at January 18, 2006 6:29 PM  

    • well if everyone would like it.. i might just do a "Saya Sebatang Kotek Part 2"

      By Blogger Boss Stewie, at January 18, 2006 6:48 PM  

    • Looking foward for "Saya Sebatang Kotek Part 2"!!

      By Blogger Kenny Lee, at January 18, 2006 7:16 PM  

    • do Saya Sebatang Kotek 'Edisi Dua' lol

      By Blogger William, at January 18, 2006 8:59 PM  

    • hahahah!!!ABU!!!HAHAH...durex!!!selama ini, saya tidak faham kenapa boss stewie suka sangat bercerita pasal DUREX, rupa-rupanya itu baju baru tuan punya ABU!!!!
      HAHAH!!!BOSS, SAYA KASI LU SATU LENG BAEKKK PUNYA!!!! (LEPTON KENA BLANJE MAKAN ITIK!!YEAY YEAY!!)=zhon=

      By Anonymous Anonymous, at January 18, 2006 9:06 PM  

    • hahahaha
      wahh
      didn't expect such a good response for this post

      By Blogger Boss Stewie, at January 18, 2006 9:20 PM  

    • Haha. Maybe you should post in Malay more often then.

      By Blogger MisSmall, at January 19, 2006 12:50 AM  

    • Fuck you man! I had coffee bursting out of my nose! You receive a Leng for sure! Btw, it's spelt koteh, not kotek. Simply because the plural of kotek means yee mah kan (at least in Malay). Don't do a part 2 unless you can surpass this.

      By Blogger DroolMAN!, at January 19, 2006 4:58 PM  

    • Walaubagaimanapun, pada satu hari, dia keluarkan saya di depan satu gua gelap. aku tidak beberapa suka situasi itu tetapi dia melembutkan leher aku dengan sentuhan kuku jari dia. tiba-tiba, gua it kena rusuk hantu! dia mempunyai dua batang leher and dua biji kepala! kepala it pelik sekali kerana rambutnya macam lima batang jari kaki! ok dan ini berlaku: Gua kena rusuk itu menggunakan kepala mereka untuk bunuh aku! mereka cuba memotong saluran oksigen aki dengan memicit saya dengan kuat! aku hendak "duduk" pun tak boleh kerana kaki terajang! Tetapi, nasib baik dia perlahan sikit kerana tuan saya menjerit kesakitan.

      aku hampir termuntah tetapi tuan saya menyelamatkan nyawa saya dengan melarikan diri dari gua rusuk itu. pelik sekali, dia masih menyentuh saya seperti hendak memanaskan saya. TIBA-TIBA tuan saya mendekati gua itu lalu memasukkan saya ke dalam gua itu!Taat dan kesetiaan saya pada tuan saya hilang sekelip mata. aku ketakutan apabila dalam gua itu, menunggu apa-apa yang akan terjadi pada saya. aku tidak takut dibunuh. tanpa penyediaan, badan saya digosok pada dinding gua itu! gua itu busuk sekali dan amat kering lagi ketat! tapi perasaan berubah apabila gris magik mengalir pada dinding dari siling rumah. aku rasa pada masa itu, hantu dari gua itu sudah merusuk tuan saya kerana tuan saya terjadi gila dan memasukkan saya dalam Simple Harmonic Motion pada 1000rpm. lepas beberapa jam, tuan saya masih bertenaga dan gua sudah dibanjiri dengan air merah! air merah itu tertumpah keluar dari dinding pecah. aku terasa pening lalu memuntah.

      aku mengotori baju cantik saya. aku amat kasihan sekali. tetapi hantu dalam tuan saya sudah terbang pergi. tuan saya melepasi saya dari gua gila itu, menanggal baju cantik saya dan mencampakinya. aku tidak kisah kerana baju itu bau coklat dan aku tidak suka coklat.

      By Anonymous adrian, at January 19, 2006 5:34 PM  

    • hahaha thanks for the heads up droolman

      i don't think i'd do a part two.. but it seems like adrian has already done it lol

      By Blogger Boss Stewie, at January 19, 2006 8:23 PM  

    • Dude, cool essay!!
      btw, adrian, Simple Harmonic Motion is "Gerakan Harmonik Ringkas" as in Malay.
      LOL!

      p/s: u can check bc ur form 5 physics textbook in case u forget it d...

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