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  • Tuesday, January 17, 2006

    My Bad Experience Flying MAS

    Yesterday I flew back to London. It was my first time in more than 3 years flying international flights on Malaysia Airlines. I normally fly Singapore Airlines but since Malaysia Airlines had been doing so bad lately, I decided to give them a bit of patronage to help fund more million dollar paintings in their directors' offices. It turned out that I had a HORRIBLE flight! But it wasn't the fault of Malaysia Airlines at all. Their service wasn't great but it was definately acceptable. The food was comparable or even better than Singapore Airlines and they had plenty of toilets on-board which was good for massive water-drinkers like myself. So what was it that annoyed me?

    When I got on-board the plane, I rushed over to stow away my luggage and slouched down on my aisle seat. I took quick glances around me only to see that I was surrounded by families with children of all ages. It crossed my mind that it was going to be a
    very noisy flight and I was unlikely to get any sleep but I shrugged off the thought... until... A little boy not more than the age of 12 came to sit next to me. He told me his name was Javesh Singh and asked me all sorts of questions. It was amusing or so for the first hour... but after that he began to get annoying.

    And I mean FUCKING ANNOYING.
    I would be trying to get some sleep when he would shake me to wake me up saying "HELLO!! HELLO!!! (he referred to me as "HELLO") Why my game cannot work?"

    I would reply "You have to wait for the plane to take off first and then wait a while?"

    and then he would ask "How long will that be?"


    and still I would calmly say "I don't know.. it depends on the crew"

    and then his annoying little mouth would shit out the words "Why? How come you don't know? Don't you fly all the time?".... he kept asking me "WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!?!?!"

    So many times throughout the flight, my devilish side of me was tempting me to tell him off once and for all: "Listen you lil' cunt... leave me alone or I'll push your head through the window". But out of nowhere, I imagined my gf dressed like an angel saying ... "No no no...."
    This went on throughout the whole flight and true enough, I didn't get any sleep at all. So I spent my time thinking of how Leng Mou? Airlines (or we're thinking of rebranding it to Airlines Mou) would handle these situations in future. I initially thought of having a special place down below in the cargo compartment for these noisy kids.

    But after a while I decided why waste all that space on noisy kids when I can use it to carry more fu chuk with me to London. So my cruel mind decided that it was most economical to just shoot their noisy backsides with tranquilizer darts to put them to sleep. Of course, 13 hours later, I got off the plane and the 'psychopath' part of my mind turned off but I was still feeling terrible. So I went straight away with some friends to the Four Seasons, to have my favourite Roast Duck.Yes, the same Roast Duck that Boss Lepton would be buying me after Leng Mou? ends... Mmmm..... yes.. duck that is just too good to waste.

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