Leng Mou Cheesecake 101(a.k.a. Student's Cheesecake)

Boss Lepton, being a nice guy as he is, would like to teach all you guys who can't cook out there,including Boss Stewie, an easy recipe which almost everybody can master.

For every "tar poh"(guy), being able to make a cheesecake is vital in our quest to conquer a "cha boh"(girl). Ok, it might not be that big a deal but for all you lonely tar poh out there, here's an easy recipe to win your way back to the heart of that girl you always wanted to please(and also provides a way out, more on this later).

So preparations, the ingredients we need are:

and

I meant only the fork and spoon.

And a few more important items below.

I only use McVitie's Digestive because it's easier to digest. Surely we wouldn't wanna have shits like in the previous Leng Mou? post by Boss Stewie.

Also, you can use margarine instead of butter.

Soft & creamy cheese(any brand) , it has to be Full Fat Soft Cheese. If you're thinking of using light cheese etc, be prepared to drink your cheesecake. Condensed milk of any quality can be used, as long as it's sweet.And finally you can use any jam of your liking. My personal favourite is this No Added Sugar Strawberry Jam. Simply delicious.

Ok remember the fingers?? Whatever you do, DO NOT wash your hands. It would just take the flavour off the cheesecake. Trust me on this, it's like putting a "kong tao"(curse) on the girl.

First, CRUSH the biscuits with your fingers into a bowl.(Wash the bowl 1st dammit)
Then, use your fork to crush them. Next, pour the crushed biscuits into the container you're gonna be making your cheesecake in.Add butter and really mix them together. It doesn't matter if the butter doesn't melt, just make sure there's plenty of butter so that the crust would be really hard. Use a spoon to compress the crust. When I say compress, I mean use full pressure, not just touch touch, save your soft touches for your girlfriend.And VOILA, we have our crust ready. Chill the crust in your refrigerator.We proceed then to the cheese. Dig the cheese out into a mixing bowl.

Now if you're a girl, then just continue to the next step.

(For guys only: Now the cheese is undoubtly the main attraction of the cheesecake, so if you wanna put a bit of aphrodisiacs into your cheesecake, mix it in together with the cheese.)

Add in the condensed milk and mix them well. Make sure you don't add too much condensed milk, otherwise it would taste too sweet.Alternatively............TASTE IT!!!

When it tastes all right, take your crust from your refrigerator and pour your cheese mix over the crust. Now that looks yummy doesn't it? Make sure you're alone while doing this, so nobody can see you using your fingers.

Do you have to use your fingers? Why yes!!! To make sure that no cheese is left in your mixing bowl.Use a spoon to spread the cheese evenly on top of the crust. Then off it goes back into the refrigerator for another 15 minutes or so.
Use your 15 minutes to call your girl companion over, allowing plenty of time for yourself to clean up the mess in your room and preparing the "essentials".
Finally, add in the jam. Here we go, the easiest cheesecake ever.

We know we love our cheesecake, and our cheesecake love us too. Make lots of cheesecake, it's to our benefit. I know of an equation everybody can agree on:

+

=

Now don't we all agree? Here's your excuse to break up if you feel like it, ain't men evil? MUAHAHAHA

p.s. I feel a bashing coming my way. Oh wait, I feel a killing intent heading my direction pretty soon.