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  • Saturday, December 10, 2005

    The World's Funniest Joke

    A few years ago, Dr. Richard Wiseman from the University of Hertfordshire in collaboration with the British Association for the Advancement of Science created LaughLab. The objective of LaughLab was to carry out scientific research and find the World's Funniest Joke.

    Please don't say that they're wasting time or that they're "too free". At least they're not spending time doing useless things like making Proton Chancellors. (Please refer to the diagram below to remind yourselves about the piece of shit

    Yes... doing scientific research or even watching grass grow doesn't seem like a waste of time to you now does it?

    Alright, moving on... not too long ago LaughLab released its results that decided that the World's Funniest Joke is:

    A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?"

    Yes, that was the scientifically proven 'funniest joke'.
    But we at LengMou disagree with the results. We believe that the Funniest Jokes are dirty jokes that is quite likely not included in LaughLabs research. Think about it, that joke had probably been competing with other jokes like

    "How many TNB staff does it take to screw a street lightbulb?"

    "7... 1 to go up the ladder and screw the bulb, 2 to hold the ladder, and 4 to watch"

    HAR.... HAR... HAR.... not very funny was it?
    We believe that the Funniest Jokes in the world should be something like this:

    A man had been lost and wandering in the Chinese wilderness for 3
    months. All he had to eat was what he could forage and was forced to
    sleep wherever he could find meager shelter.

    One day he came upon an old farm house. In answer to his knock, an
    old Chinese gentleman asked "WHAT DO YOU WANT". The man responds,
    "I have been lost in the wilderness for 3 months and have not had a decent
    meal or nights sleep in just as long. May I stay the night?"

    The old man agreed under the condition that there be no messing with
    his granddaughter. "I will cause you no trouble", the man said.
    "That's very good" said the old man. "Because if I catch you with my
    granddaughter, you will suffer the three most severe Chinese

    The granddaughter attended the evening meal and the man was awestruck
    by her beauty. Since he had been alone for so long and she had not
    been with a man in her life, they could hardly keep their eyes off of
    each other during the meal.

    Later that night the man crept into her room and they had a terrific
    time together. They were careful to be quiet so they wouldn't awaken the
    grandfather. Afterwards, the man returned to his room (on the third
    floor), and thought: "That marvelous experience was worth enduring a
    thousand tortures". He then fell promptly asleep and had the best
    sleep in three months.

    Upon awakening, he felt an incredible weight on his chest. He then
    realized that there was a 100 pound rock on his chest. On the rock
    was a sign that read: "1st Chinese Torture - 100 Pound Rock On

    This is some lame torture thought the man as he carried it over to
    the window and threw it out. Then he noticed another sign on the
    bottom of the rock "2nd Chinese torture - Right Testicle Tied To
    Rock". Knowing that it was too late to catch the rock, the man
    hurled himself out of the window after it. Passing through the
    window the man saw a third sign on the window ledge. "3rd Chinese
    torture - Left Testicle Tied To Bedpost".

    What do you guys think?


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