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  • Friday, March 24, 2006

    YAMATEH... YAMATEHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I am hardly a rollercoaster fan but somehow on my recent trip to Paris Disneyland my baby dragged me onto all the 5 rollercoasters that could be found in the theme park.


    Fortunately, of the 5 rollercoasters, only 4 of them had 360 degree loops, big drops and corkscrews... but one of them... was the scariest roller coaster I had ever been on in my life.

    It was called the Space Mountain Mission II.

    Now I have been on the Space Mountain in Disneyland Tokyo and the one in LA but they were both nothing like this.

    Here's how the sick sick ride goes.

    Once you get on a coaster. They load you into a "cannon barrel". Then after a countdown they catapult you up the track and dive down into the building where all you see is darkness and stars.

    And then begins the 360 loops, corkscrews and
    4 or 5 sharp drops.

    Being very honest here, I am never one to scream when being on roller-coasters. I somehow always suffer on the inside myself but on the Space Mountain II, I screamed like a girl.

    Actually, it first started off with very manly shouts and foul language curses like "MA CHOW HAAII!!!!"... then it moved on to slightly more feminine-like screams.
    By the time the ride was halfway through, my testicles had shrunk to the size of M&Ms and I was no longer cursing foul language but instead screaming "YAMATEH!!! YAMATEEHHH!!!!" like a Japanese porn star.

    Yes... at that point, I might as well have put on a dress and panty hose.

    But don't take my word for it. Let the pictures do the talking.

    First, this is how Boss Stewie looks like in a normal setting. (Boss Stewie is the one on the right)

    Now when Boss Stewie sat on a ride like Thundermountain in Disneyland Paris that goes around a mountain like this

    with no loops or corkscrews but a few little sharp drops here and there and some sharp turnings... this is how he looked like

    or even like this... (trying to act macho and smooch girlfriend on a rollercoaster)


    Now one step higher on rides such as the Aerosmith or Indiana Jonesthat have warnings like this
    This is how Boss Stewie looked like

    And finally.. on space mountain...

    This is how Boss Stewie looked like


    Now I sat on Space Mountain over and over again hoping to be able to make a straight enough face for the cameras but to no avail. I gave up after the 3rd time.

    So.. does that prove my point?

    Disneyland Paris also had me sit on my first virtual rollercoaster ride. The way it works is you get to design your own rollercoaster track using machines like this
    at the end of your design, there is even a meter to tell how scary your ride is out of a scale of 5 and then you sit them through in simulators like this

    I tried to make the ride as scary as I could with as many loops and drops as possible but I only got a rating or 4/5 and I can't say I was even the least bit as scared as I was at Space Mountain.

    But whatever it is... the rollercoasters at Disneyland were amazing... and so is my souvenier mug!!

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