How we can change our lifestyles to suit the higher petrol prices.

It has been a while since the Malaysian government announced the 30 sen increase in petrol prices and people are still upset. Perhaps it may be against the nature of an economist but I won't bother trying to analyse whether this is good or bad for the economy.

Lets instead think about how we can "change our lifestyles" to adapt to the increase in petrol prices which sparked off a chain reaction increasing prices in tons of other things. No use crying over spilt milk right?

Now here's a few Leng Mou? suggestions on how we can save money on petrol and add a little bit more money to our piggy bank.


Piggy Bank Way Number 1: Transportation

I'm not going to say "Sell your car and take public transport" or "start cycling"... because everyone has already thought about it and it is NOT gonna happen is it?

So, to save petrol, think about this: The heavier your car is, the harder your engine will have to work. The harder your engine will have to work the more petrol you will burn.

So what do you do... minimise the weight of the car.

Start first with the toilet. Every time before you get on your car. Go to the toilet and take the longest piss and shit you can to minimise your body weight.

Next, unload whatever unnecessary weight your car has. For example, why do you need cushions in your car? Yes, to make it more comfortable but times are bad... so suffer a bit in the car is better than taking LRT right?

Strip your cushions and throw them all out!

You don't even need car doors. What for? They're heavy. Once more, throw away your car doors, yes all 4 of them.

Strip down your car until its just like this (with an engine of course), because that's all you need.

Then you might ask... no doors? what if it rains?

Wear a raincoat! If rain gets into the car it won't matter would it? Cuz there won't be any seats to wet will there?

Think of your car as a No-Frills Car.... as opposed to a No-Frills airline like Airasia.

Piggy Bank Way Number 2: Utilities (Electricity)

Now we all know that there is a chance that Tenaga might bring about an electricity rate hike. So how can we save on electricity?

Now the only real important thing you need from electricity to survive is lighting. I am not going to tell you to use candles because once again... that is NOT going to happen is it?So here's what you do.

When nobody is home, scout around your house and remove all the lightbulbs that are normally 60W or 120W. Now replace those lightbulbs with 20W lightbulbs (or as low as you can. If there even is a 0.5W lightbulb, BUY IT!!!).

People in your house might notice the difference in lighting but they wouldn't guess that it is because was because you replaced all the lightbulbs.

In the mean time, bring all those high powered lightbulbs and use them in your room so that when you enter your room it is as bright as heaven compared to the rest of the house.
When anyone asks you why your room is so damn bright... just say

"Ermm.. I don't know... I have the same number of lights as the rest of the rooms.. maybe my wallpaper makes it look brighter"

Piggy Bank Way 3: Utilities (Water)

This has got to be the easiest of all and no I'm not going to tell you to wash your car with a bucket or so because we all know that's no fun right?

Now go to a hardware store and pick up one of these. Once you're done, go to the garden in your house and dig one of these


That's right... DIG A WELL.

If you live in an apartment then you're even luckier. Chances are that you have a swimming pool so go down everyday to tarpau some water. Don't worry lar.. the water will be clean enough. We beggars can't be choosers can we?

Piggy Bank Way Number 4: Food

Now this one is a little more fun. Every week, make sure you drag your family to one of those... RM10 for ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET and make sure all of you bring big big bags like you're going travelling.

Without anyone looking, shove enough food in those bags that could feed your family for a week and just go back there every week.

Piggy Bank Way Number 5: Other Necessities (Toilet Paper)

Now listen to this carefully. This is something that few people tend to exploit. If you follow this method I guarantee you that you will save 50% on how much you spend on toilet paper every month.

Think about this, when you use A4 paper to copy lecture notes... you write on both sides right? Similarly for toilet paper... once you're done wiping your ass with one side... flip it around (without touching your own shit of course) and use the other side to wipe your ass.

So there you have it... one piece of toilet paper for double the wipe.

Now now... don't listen to the toilet paper companies' when they say that it is DIRTY AND SICK. They're just trying to get you to buy more toilet paper from them!

So there you have it! Many many ways to save money to cope with the increase in petrol prices, compliments of Leng Mou?