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  • Tuesday, January 24, 2006

    So you think you can eat sambal......

    Well you and me who loves sambal as part of our staple diet are considered "baby" chilli eaters. Guess who can claim this title and if so, exactly which chilli did they eat to train themselves? OK, let's embark on a journey from our homeland Malaysia. Stretching from south to north, Boss Lepton can safely claim that as you proceed higher up north, the chilli index of the population gradually increases. Er....... Singaporeans beh tahan 1 la......... While one may be able to boast that he/she can eat lots of chilli, there is another hypothesis that Boss Lepton came up which might make you think twice the next time you boast. Let's do a little bit of hypothesis testing:

    H0 : Poor people are massive chilli eater
    vs
    H1: Poor people are not massive chilli eater

    Before we start on the testing, here's an example:
    Northen Malaysia - farmers - chilli eater
    Singaporeans - office workers - ketchup eater
    Southwest China - Sze Chuan, Guizhou - MASSIVE CHILLI EATER

    India - MASSIVE CHILLI EATER
    Japanese - rich - takes wasabi(if you call that spicy, you're really MILD)


    To test this model, let's first observe the few countries we take into account.

    World ranking by GDP per capita 2004
    33 South Korea 21,419
    62 Malaysia 10,423
    66 Mexico 9,666
    72 Thailand 7,901
    125 India 3,080
    The above countries are to the extent of my knowledge, chilli eaters. South Korea with their famous Kimchi. So how spicy is kimchi? Judging using Boss Lepton's tongue, kimchi is mild. Well at least the ones I get from the supermarket is. They are however reputable to be chilli eater on general. So South Korean - quite well-off - not too hot.

    Malaysia with our famous sambal belacan. Well, the chilli that is reputable to be the spiciest, or at least what we are thought to be since young is the "chilli padi". Come to think of it, it is not to say a bad statement to say that Malaysians import most of their chillis from neighbouring countires like China or Thailand. Generally, Boss Lepton can take a teaspoon full of sambal belacan, made from chilli padi, for each tablespoon full or rice. Can you?
    Comparing kimchi to sambal belacan, Boss Lepton says Sambal Belacan spicier, agree not?
    Now we go to Mexico. Introducing japapenos. Not too spicy, definitely not as spicy as our chilli padi. Used extensively in Salsa sauces

    Coming back to Thailand, the fact is that eating chilli gives thai people a slim body. I can't imagine a Thai having constipation. Every meal they eat is chilli + some other spice. Take Boss Lepton's favourite Tomyam for example. Having Tomyam in Thailand and in Malaysia is like eating Ben n Jerry's ice cream vs Tesco Value ice cream. There's no comparison in terms of
    heat, spiciness and yumness. Although I have to say that the level of heat is on par with Malaysian chillis. More on this later.

    Lastly, the Indians with their curries. Indian curries are more flavour than heat, or maybe I should say British Indian dishes. Boss Lepton has never been to India to try their red hot chilli, but I should assume that they use the same types of chilli as Malaysians and Thais that is the birdseye variety. Rating of birdseye(chilli padi), very hot.

    Therefore, the hypothesis seems to be correct to a certain point, minus the africas which I didn't have time to study about. However, saying this does make a lot of senses. The association between use of chillis and wealth status seems quite plausible, poor people tend to store their food for a longer period of time(rather than demanding fresh food), by applying the correct amount of chilli and spices, it will be sufficient to cover up the taste of, say, stale meat.

    What Boss Lepton found after some research(just a search on google) is more astonishing, check it out.

    To test how hot a pepper(all belonging to genus Capsicum) is we use the Scoville scale on which if you take the regular Bell Pepper a.k.a. "Capsicum" we have on our pizzas etc, well you are mild. It's 0 Scoville units.
    And everybody knows that Boss Lepton don't take mild. I demand only the hottest, and I thought that Tabasco Sauce was quite hot.


    Chilli padi is also very hot and is of the species Serranos. And it's ratings are 20,000 Scoville units compared to Tabasco's 50,000 units. That's 5 times higher than the regular jalapenos, something we Malaysians and Thais can cheer about. Yea, we beat those mexicans yea.

    If you're about to celebrate, hold your celebrations, for Boss Lepton has another amazing find.

    Introducing your friendly, mouth-watering(with saliva to cool down the heat), tongue-numbing Red Savina Habanero chilli. Wooo, a lick on this pepper and you will find that it's hot until the point your tongue turns numb and everything you put into your mouth tastes sour. No joke, if they say it's hotter than a Scotch Bonnet then it's really hot. Boss Lepton has tried Scotch Bonnet and it sure is HOT, 1 lick kau tim.


    On a check on its Scoville rating, Wikipedia returns 350,000 - 580,000. That's the hottest chilli ever recorded....... almost 30 times the heat of your regular chilli padi. Who the hell eats these? They must be a freak and has like BIG SWOLLEN LIPS. Naturally.......



    So girls, if you wanna have big, sexy, kissable lips, you know what to get the next time you shop for grocery.

    Alternatively, Boss Lepton has found the ultimate solution for you if you don't wanna endure the pain of biting chilli. Embrace the father of all chillis.


    It's called the 16 Million Reserve. And how it arrives at that? Well easy, it's 16 million Scoville units. If you're really bad at numbers, it's 16,000,000 Scoville units. That's 6 zeros, and simple calculation 16,000,000/580,000 = 27.6. 27.6 HOTTER than the HOTTEST chilli ever. It's just pure capsaicin, the chemical that makes chilli hot. You can get it from extremefood.com. Buyers have to sign a disclaimer warning that any handling "must be under a controlled environment using protective gloves and safety eye wear".


    Quotes about this
    "This chilli is so hot, you'd have to drink 250,000 gallons of water just to put out the fire"
    By James Langton in New York

    Gosh, this is so gonna be on my birthday wishlist. Note that down!!!!! 1 drop on your lips, int othe hospital you go.


    The next time Boss Lepton use this chilli to make sambal belacan, I wanna dare Boss Stewie to try it. It'll not only hurt when you LICK, it hurts when you EAT, it hurts when you SHIT, it hurts when you PEE, it hurts the hell most when you TA FEI KEI(masturbate) and EJACULATE!!! (a.k.a. LESPME)

    Try imagining
    Mai Hagiwara when she's giving some 16-million-reserve-eater a blowjob. She'll go,"Ahhh, kimochi, kimochi, so yummy..............Y SO HOT!?!?!!??!! KNNCCB!!!!!" I tell you, Mai Hagiwara will also get LESPME. And that goes on and on coz then the guy would lick........ and some girl will suck again........ vicious cycle :D

    p.s. chilli is my life

    12 Comments:

    • hahahah!!!wat kinda f**ked-up hypothesis is that?!!!haha...but good effort and quite intersting!..okla!!give u a leng!! -zhon-

      By Anonymous Anonymous, at January 25, 2006 5:45 AM  

    • uhmmmm
      sorry boss
      mou

      By Blogger Boss Stewie, at January 25, 2006 6:04 AM  

    • hehehehe cibai
      i knew that
      nvm at least i learnt sumtihng

      16 million reserve mou?!?!? niama

      get me that for my birthday ar...

      By Blogger Boss Lepton, at January 25, 2006 7:05 AM  

    • leng for lepton, intresting read dude.

      mild humour in btween , nice !

      and also...theres some typo in it XD

      By Anonymous Linlin, at January 25, 2006 2:39 PM  

    • hahahhahaha

      a nice one but lame hypothesis....

      anyway I'll give a Leng for that 16 million reserves.... OMG..... it's a torture/BDSM tool...

      By Anonymous AKSaiful, at January 25, 2006 3:34 PM  

    • Interesting post. My tolerance level is about Maggi mee curry so im going to be filthy rich in future.

      By Anonymous Peng Joon, at January 25, 2006 3:35 PM  

    • Too bad I cannot eat really spicy stuff. Anything hotter than normal madras and its like drinking boric acid.

      By Blogger yuin, at January 25, 2006 4:31 PM  

    • Your belacan looks like poo..

      But anyway, its kinda good research you got there.. Can I give half leng and half mou? Is wasabi considered under chillies?

      By Blogger Min L. Fu, at January 25, 2006 4:53 PM  

    • ahhhh... chillies! love 'em. Assumingly ppl frm the North shd be able to consume spicy food, no?

      Heck, after comin to KL, my level of spicy intake decreased. I miss home!

      LENG for the research effort! what's the score like now? :)

      By Anonymous Jess, at January 25, 2006 5:11 PM  

    • the score is 9-5... right boss? stewie 9 hehehe

      By Blogger Boss Stewie, at January 25, 2006 5:16 PM  

    • Yes la yes la u leading la

      @&*^*$#%*&

      BDSM tool, hmmmm, wouldn't consider it fun if it might be fatal. LOL

      Oh yea hor, my belacan do look like poo.

      Wasabi is NOT considered chilli as it is actually horshradish mustard blah blah blah. hehehehe

      By Blogger Boss Lepton, at January 25, 2006 10:44 PM  

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      By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 08, 2007 3:25 AM  

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