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  • Wednesday, March 29, 2006

    Tale of 2 bak-kut-teh eaters

    Once upon a time in a country not so far away........... there lived 2 really closed friends, Boss Stewie and Boss Lepton. They have very few in common, for example, Boss Stewie has a mole which girls find sexy, Boss Lepton has no mole which girls find NOT sexy. Also, Boss Stewie finds drinking peanut-butter-banana milkshake very appetizing, Boss Lepton considers luxury drinks like this not an essential part of his foodchain and so doesn't find it different from the average plain water.

    However, there are 2 things in that Boss Stewie and Boss Lepton have in common:

    1. Their love of their meat. No I don't mean that meat that every guy is supposed to love.

    Boss Lepton loves his PORK

    and Boss Stewie loves his beef, he even makes sure that his beef is dolphin-friendly, as so......

    2. Their love of bak kut teh.

    Bak kut teh ought to be one of Malaysia's national dish, come on, Singapore's bak kut teh doesn't even come close in terms of tastiness. The only flaw in making it Malaysia's national dish is that it is cooked with pork, which offends the Muslim community. However, this is not an issue, Boss Lepton respects that and doesn't mind that it is not given its recognition as long as we still get to eat it.

    Boss Stewie and Boss Lepton used to have their Bak kut teh for breakfast almost every weekend. They would drive for almost half an hour to their favourite bak kut teh shop in Glenmarie, get a table along with some other friends and ordered the usual.

    "Yat Poh Fu Chuk, Yat Poh cham cham, ma lai chan kangkung" which translates to

    "One pot of Dried Bean Curd, one pot of everything mixed, sambal belacan kangkung"

    And if you hadn't guessed it yet, YES Boss Stewie is a FFE(F**king Fu Chuk Eater). His personal pot of bak kut teh contains no pork(what dya mean by no pork in bak kut teh?!?!?!) and lots of fu chuk. When I said lots of fu chuk, I meant only fu chuk. Pathetic isn't it?

    Boss Lepton, on the other extreme, loves his pork. I demand only the finest bak kut teh, where its pork is tender and soft, just like tofu.......

    After an enjoyable years which make Boss Stewie and Boss Lepton two really fat-f**ks, they had to fly over to the UK to further their studies.

    Then nightmare begins, there would be times when Boss Stewie wakes up in the middle of the night, hugging his pillow, trembling on his bed, squeaking "Fu Chuk.... Teh..... Fu Chuk..... Teh". Boss Lepton would always be shivering in the dark corner of his room, clinging onto his penguin doll, murmering "Here porky porky porky...... here porky porky porky......."

    The pain, the HORROR, the ADDICTION of bak kut teh. That lasted for a good half a year, until both of them found the right recipe to cook bak kut teh. Finally the thirst has been quench, but there was still something missing from the common bak kut teh.

    Boss Stewie demands his Fu Chuk to be like the ones he likes, Boss Lepton demands that the pork is tender.

    "How the F**K do we do that Boss?" they asked and then they went on venturing into the quest of obtaining the how to make the Best Bak Kut Teh..........................

    2 years have passed now, with the skills and knowledge obtained by trial and error, they could finally enjoy their tasty bak kut teh once again.

    Boss Stewie's resolution:

    "I found out that you have to deep fry your fu chuk first before putting it into your bak kut teh. First, heat the oil on high heat. Then make sure your hand is wet and sprinkle some water into the oil while putting in the fu chuk at the same time. The result is a bubbly deep-fried fu chuk which is very crispy to chew on. Put it inside your bak kut teh to boil and voila, we have the yummiest thing in the universe."

    Boss Lepton's resolution:

    "The answer to my problem is very simple, you just need...........

    Put one or two tablets of panadol into your bak kut teh and voila, you can get the most tender bak kut teh in the whole world. This actually applies to all meat dishes, for example, I put panadol in my rendang, chicken soup, and even in my curry. No wonder I don't feel feverish even though I feel sick."

    Fact: pork becomes soft with one hour boiling instead of the minimum 3 hours that are written in the recipe book. Beef in rendang becomes soft with 2 hours of braising instead of a whole day.

    So that's it, two secrets to the best bak kut teh in the world. The question is........

    Anybody wanna try Leng Mou?'s very own Bak Kut Teh?

    p.s. come if you have fever :D


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