Getting in trouble with Japanese

My gf and I have been feeling very Japanese-sy lately after we watched Battle Royale (yes... we have never watched it till yesterday) .

So today we went to Japan Centre on Piccadily Circus to buy RM140 worth of Japanese junk food and groceries including udon, seaweed and plenty plenty of Japanese biscuits.

Now before I go on, let me point out one thing about many of us non-Japanese asians. Lets say I ask you to say out a few Japanese words that you know.

If you were a girl, the first few words to come out of your mouth would probably be "Arigato"(Thank you), "Konichiwa" (Good day) and "Sayonara" (Bye bye).

Now if you were a guy, the first few words to come out of your mouth would probably be "Kimochi"(Comfortable) and "Yamateh" (Don't). Now come on guys... BE HONEST... you know thats true.. and you can blame our lovely Miss Hagiwara here for that
But that's still true.

So anyway, after our little Japanese grocery shopping trip we decided to stop for tea at Sketch: The very talked about tea-time place in London where I had the most expensive cup of hot chocolate I have ever had costing me RM28 a cup.

While we were seated down and having our expensive tea with lovely little desert cakes that I had to sell my left testicle to pay for.

my gf asked me "So what Japanese words do you know?"

Shamefully, the first words to leave my mouth were "KIMOCHI" and "YAMATEH"

and then she giggled and asked me "What do you think they call a "condom" in Japanese?"

So I self-brainstormed and started guessing terms like "KIMOCHI-DOM" and "CON-MOCHI".

Then suddenly my dear gf kept silent for a few seconds and just looked down at her expensive cup of hot chocolate.
I asked her "MEH SI?"

and she spoke very softly... " There are two Japanese girls sitting right next to us.. shh"

I looked to my right and I saw the two Japanese girls glaring at me (excuse the blur photo, I had to take the picture without flash in order to avoid further pissing them off).

They were saying some stuff in Japanese that I couldn't catch but I am pretty sure I heard the words "BAKA" (idiot) and "HENTAI"(pervert) in their sentences.

So for the rest of our expensive tea-time, both our adjacent tables were pretty much... silent. I took the opportunity to snap another photo of the angry Japanese girls that we have.... somehow offended.

At one point, I was about to apologize to them but I was afraid that if I attempted to speak another word of Japanese, the word "KIMOCHI" might fly out of my mouth again.

So my gf and I maintained the silence and went home to eat our Japanese biscuits.So the next time you try to learn Japanese... maybe it would be best to learn by taking proper Japanese classes instead of learning it from our lovely Miss Hagiwara.